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: Right off, I have this monstrous favour to ask you.
: Excuse me?
: My best friend Angelique shattered her pelvis line-dancing in Abeline over Spring Break. Be my maid of honour.
: What? Um, shouldn't you, uh, vote a bridesmaid, or, uh, someone you've known at least 45 minutes?
: My bridemaids are my only two female relatives under the age of 40, debutante sisters from Nashville, who are basically vengeful sluts. Oh, my exit! [swerves car across road] So this means I have four days to make you my new best friend. It's time for you to force yourself to get personal!