Butch
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[sees Lou reaching for a big red button] [Lou: Hey, what's this?] Heel! That's the big button! You don't just
press the big button!
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How could this have happened?!
[Monitor: It was an accident. He slipped through.] You promised me a professional! And what do I get?! A puppy! I mean, he's still got his
you-know-whats, for crying out loud!
[Monitor: There's no time, Butch. The puppy stays. End of discussion. Out.] Mr. Tinkles
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[Pretending to be Mr. Mason] Attention.
[Loud interference from the microphone] OW! Attention, human workers. This is your employer, Mr. Mason. Effective immediately, you are all fired. That's right, fired! Go home now. Do not ask why. You have no one to blame but yourselves. Unless you have a dog. Then you can blame him. In fact, you know what? Kick him, wake him. That is all.
[closes the blinds as he laughs, and opens them again briefly.] Cats rule!
[closes the blinds again] And now for the next phase of my brilliant plan!
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[Repeated line, last said when he is living with Sophie and her sisters, being made to try on numerous colorful costumes and outfits before the credits] This can't be happening.
Russian Kitty
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[Looking at the door to Mr. Brody's lab] Hmph! Piece of junk American door.
[setting explosives on the door to Mr. Brody's lab] I cannot believe I do this job at half price. And that Tinkles he is jerk. He talk too much and shed all over.
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[last words; being interrogated] I will tell you nothing!
[laughs] I may look cute and cuddly, but inside,
granite! The Mastiff
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Gentlemen, a few moments ago, I received word of the gravest nature. A key agent working the Brody case has been catnapped. Although he is safe, we must replace him as soon as possible. It appears that once again we find ourselves threatened by the great cat menace. We suspect that a rogue feline is involved in a conspiracy to destroy all we dogs have worked so hard to achieve. Therefore, in accordance with action Plan Delta, we have assembled an elite team of agents trained to replace our catnapped comrade. At this moment, replacements are been flown in from London. One will take his place as the Brody's pet and guard their home from cat invasion. I need not remind you that the future of man and dog alike depends on the success of this mission. Failure is not an option. The stakes are high, gentlemen. We have everything to lose. One hundred million dogs have placed their destiny squarely in our paws.
Dialogue
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Lou: I was just thinking - if I'm gonna to be a secret agent, I should have a better name. I was thinking, "Toto Annihilation."
Peek: Nah, he's a pro-wrestler. Sorry, that name's taken.
Lou: All right, then. "Doom Machine" it is.
Butch: Hey! You can call yourself "Squicky the Space-Dog" for all I care.
[Sam and Peak snicker] But that don't make your behind a rocket pack. You are
not an agent, but you
are gonna help us.
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Ninja Cat Leader: On my mark! 3! 2! 1!
Ninja Cat Team and Leader: BANZAI!
[The Ninjas drop from the planes and deploy their parachutes after several seconds of freefall] Share this quote on facebook
Mr. Brody: [on tape] Hi. Uh, doctor, the cure for dog allergies? Success, done!
Doctor: [sneezes] Fantastic. Send it to me tomorrow, and I'll have our guys verify it.
Mr. Brody: I will. I'll send it,
[Doctor sneezes] first thing in the morning. God bless you.
Mr. Tinkles: [stops the tape] This is unacceptable! If we do not act immediately, that work will be out of my reach forever! You know what that means?
Calico: [confused] Huh? What? Oh. Who, me?
Mr. Tinkles: [annoyed] Were you not paying attention?
Calico: Not really. Are you mad?
Mr. Tinkles: YES! I AM MAD!
Calico: [ducks from Mr. Tinkles' paw] Whoa!
Mr. Tinkles You little bug of an imbecile!
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Mr. Tinkles: As for you, Brody herd, I have a very, very, special...
[Reaches into a box on the desk, and pulls out cork gun] gift!
[angrily] WHAT?!
Scott: Whoa!
Mr. Tinkles: I thought I told you to buy a real gun!
Calico: Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
Mr. Tinkles: Ohh! What possible use could I have for
this?! [Throws the cork gun, firing the cork, breaking things and setting the room on fire] Hey. I'm so clever.
[Starts to leave] You know this is? Yeah, this is just plain fun, yeah.
[to Calico] I want you to stay here.
Calico: Why?
Mr. Tinkles: Because I hate you.
[Closes the door, leaving Calico locked inside]
Calico: [Begins pawing desperately at the door] No!
NO! NOOO! HELP! NO! LET ME OUT! Share this quote on facebook
Butch: Hold on a second, kid.
Lou: No!
Butch: Hold it!
Lou: Hey, they can't do this! You should've fought for me! For my family!
Butch: Why? What good would it do?
Lou: What about "Man's Best Friend"? History 101, remember?
Butch: Okay, well, here's lesson number 2: We protect them. We work for them. We tolerate their stupid "boochy-boochy" baby-talk crap.
AND FOR WHAT?! So when they go off to college, they dump you with some old lady who can't throw a ball without so much as
BREAKING HER HIP! [He starts walking away]
Lou: Is that what happened to you?
[Butch stops] You gonna blame my family for what some boy did to you?
Butch: [looks at Lou, shocked; walks to the fence-door] Look, kid, I'm sorry it played out like this, but it's over. We're shut down.
[fence-door closes] Share this quote on facebook
Ivy: Hey, Butch, I heard what happened. How's Lou?
Butch: I told him not to get attached to the boy.
Ivy: Sure. An agent keeps his mind on the mission and nothing else. That's why my family didn't love me, Butch.
Butch: We all have our sob stories. Now, he has his.