Roger Rabbit
Eddie Valiant
Judge Doom
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[after showing Eddie his true form: A toon; as his voice grows higher-pitched every second] Remember me, Eddie?! When I killed your brother, I talked just... like... THIS!
Dialogue
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Jessica: You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.
Eddie: You don't know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do.
Jessica: I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.
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[after the weasels have searched Eddie and Jessica for the will, but have failed]
Doom: Do they have the will or not?
Smart Ass: Nah, just a stupid love letter.
Doom: No matter. I doubt if that will is going to show up in the next 15 minutes, anyway.
Eddie: What happens in the next 15 minutes?
Doom: Toontown will be legally mine--lock, stock, and barrel.
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Eddie: D'you mean to tell me you could've taken your hand outta that cuff at any time?!
Roger: No. Not at
any time. Only when it was funny. Bl-bl-bl-!
[jumps away as Eddie tries to hit him and spins in a chair] C'mon, Eddie! Where's your sense of humor?
Dolores: Is he always this funny or only on days when he's wanted for murder?
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Smart Ass: Say, boss. You want we should "disresemble" the place?
Doom: No, Sergeant. Disassembling the place won't be necessary. The rabbit is going to come right to me.
[he taps "Shave and a Haircut" on counter]
Doom: No toon can resist the old Shave-and-a-Haircut trick.
(taps "Shave and a Haircut" a few times)
Eddie: I don't know who's toonier; you or Doom.
[Roger starts freaking out]
Eddie: Roger!
[Doom taps "Shave and a Haircut"; Roger freaks out even more]
Eddie: Roger! Roger, no!
[Doom taps "Shave and a Haircut" again; Roger violently freaks out to his limits]
Doom: Shave and a haircut.
[Roger crashes through the wall]
Roger: 2 BITS!!
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Eddie: Happy Trails.
Roger: No, thanks, Eddie. I'm tryin' to cut down.
Eddie: Drink the drink!
Roger: But I don't want the drink!
Doom: He doesn't want the drink.
Eddie: He does!
Roger: I don't!
Eddie: You do!
Roger: I don't!
Eddie: You do!
Roger: I don't!
Eddie: You do!
Roger: I don't!
Eddie: You don't.
Roger: I do!
Eddie: You don't!
Roger: I do!
Eddie: You don't!
Roger:
[takes the drink] Listen! When I say "I do", that means I do!