On a film set, The Crypt Keeper directs an installment of the television show despite his disapproval of the lead actor's talent. Upon becoming aware of the viewer, he proffers his latest project, which he hopes will get him into Hollywood: Demon Knight.
Following the grisly suicide of the U.S. Ambassador to Great Britain (Robert Arden), 32-year-old international conglomerate CEO Damien Thorn (Sam Neill) is appointed in his place, an office his adoptive father Robert Thorn once held. Having fully embraced his unholy lineage and run his company for seven years, Damien now attempts to reshape his destiny by halting the Second Coming of Christ. However, Father DeCarlo (Rossano Brazzi), a priest from the Subiaco monastery where Father Spiletto spent his final days and observed Damien from afar since his adopted father's death, acquires the Seven Daggers of Megiddo that were dug out of the ruins of the Thorn Museum in Chicago. Joined by six other priests, DeCarlo plans to kill Damien while finding the Christ Child. Meanwhile, Damien becomes romantically involved with journalist Kate Reynolds (Lisa Harrow).
The film opens in North Africa, 1600, with the English mercenary Solomon Kane as he leads his ship's crew into battle against the Ottoman occupiers of a fortress town. After defeating the defenders, Kane and his men raid the fortress, where most of the crew are killed by demons. Kane fights his way to the throne room, but, before he can loot the riches, he is confronted by a demon that tells him his soul is forfeit to Satan. Solomon rejects his fate and jumps out a window. Following this encounter, Solomon returns to England and finds sanctuary in a monastery. After a prophetic dream, the abbot apologetically expels Kane, and Kane travels by foot to his ancestral estate, from which he had been expelled in his youth after defying his father. Along the way, he is ambushed by robbers who mock his vow of pacifism and leave him for dead. He is found and treated by the Crowthorns, a family of Puritans traveling west to the New World. When the Crowthorns are slaughtered by corrupted followers of the evil sorcerer Malachi, Kane renounces his vows and swears to avenge their deaths and rescue Meredith Crowthorn, who has been marked by a witch and kidnapped by the Masked Rider, Malachi's lieutenant.
Dr. Owen (Jonathan Mellor), an official from the Ministry of Health, and a GEO team equipped with video cameras are sent into a quarantined apartment building to control the situation. After Martos, a GEO officer, is killed and infected encountering some of the infected, Owen uses religious mantra and rosary to hold him off in a room. It turns out that Owen is actually a priest sent by the Vatican to get a blood sample from a possessed girl named Tristana Medeiros.
Introducing himself as Fenton Meiks, a man visits FBI Agent Wesley Doyle claiming that his brother Adam is the "God's Hand" serial killer Doyle has been hunting. Meiks says Adam has committed suicide, prompting Fenton to fulfill a promise to bury Adam in a public rose garden in their hometown of Thurman. He begins to tell Doyle about the boys' childhood and suggests that the bodies of the God's Hand victims are buried in that rose garden. Meiks continues telling Doyle his story as the two drive to Thurman.
Harry Angel (Rourke), is a downtrodden New York City private detective contracted by Louis Cyphre (Robert De Niro) to track down John Liebling, known as Johnny Favorite, who suffered severe neurological trauma resulting from injuries he received in World War II. Favorite's incapacity disrupted a contract with Cyphre regarding unspecified collateral, and Cyphre believes that a private upstate hospital where Favorite was receiving radical psychiatric treatment for shell shock has falsified records, deliberately preventing the contract from being fulfilled. He hires Angel to discover the truth and locate Favorite's true whereabouts.
Thomas Dagget, a seminary student, loses his faith when he is shown disturbing visions of a war between angels. Years later, Thomas is a detective with the Los Angeles Police Department. Two angels fall to Earth: one, Simon, warns Thomas of coming events, before disappearing. The second, Uziel, dies attempting to kill Simon. Investigating the disturbance, Thomas finds in Simon's apartment an obituary for a recently deceased Korean War veteran named Arnold Hawthorne and a theology text he wrote. In Chimney Rock, Arizona, Simon finds the veteran and removes the soul from the body.
A promiscuous and rather misogynistic man, Steve (Perry King) is murdered by one of his three ex-lovers, and after death, the powers that be cannot decide whether to send him to heaven or to hell—his life is full of good deeds, but he's "been a shit" to women, and that behavior is keeping him from going to heaven. The powers that be decide to give him a test; he is reincarnated and given a limited amount of time to have at least one woman be in love with him. To make the test more difficult, he is reincarnated as a beautiful woman (Ellen Barkin) named Amanda. After the change, Amanda/Steve encounters other people, including Steve's friend Walter, who Amanda convinces of the truth of her identity, and lesbian perfume magnate Sheila. Both become attracted to Amanda, but Amanda rebuffs Sheila's advances, even knowing that she is giving up an opportunity for a woman to love her, because Steve is homophobic and could not abide having gay sex, even though he had sex exclusively with women, as Steve, in the past. Later, Amanda and Walter get drunk together and end up having sex. In the morning, Amanda claims no memory of the sex and accuses Walter of raping her. Walter acts surprised and insists that Amanda was an enthusiastic participant. Amanda rejects Walter, but she learns shortly thereafter that she has become pregnant from the encounter. At the childbirth, the baby girl gazes upon her mother with love, and then Amanda dies, having earned her place in heaven.
"Once, long ago", the ancient Lord of Darkness (Tim Curry) laments his isolation in the shadows before sensing the presence of two unicorns who safeguard the Power of Light; where upon Darkness instructs Blix (Alice Playten) and his fellow goblins to kill the unicorns and bring him their horns to free himself. Meanwhile, Princess Lily (Mia Sara) goes alone to the forest to meet her friend Jack (Tom Cruise), a forest dweller who teaches her the languages of animals before showing her the unicorns. Against Jack's pleas, Lili approaches the stallion before the unicorn is hit by a poisoned dart from Blix's blowpipe. The unicorns bolt, and Lily makes light of Jack's fears and sets him a challenge by throwing her ring into a pond, declaring that she will marry whoever finds it, and Jack at once dives into the pond. As the stallion dies from the poison with the goblins taking his horn, the forest and the pond freeze, with Lily running off in terror before Jack can break free. Taking refuge in a frozen cottage, Lily overhears the goblins ordered to hunt down the mare.
A couple, Jared (Judd Lormand) and Lily (Boyana Balta), finds a demonic-looking Nell Sweetzer (Ashley Bell) squatting next to their refrigerator. She soon is taken to a hospital, where she appears to be catatonic. After spending a few months at Frank's (Muse Watson) home for girls in New Orleans and settling in as a chambermaid at a hotel under the supervision of her boss Beverly (Diva Tyler), Nell's condition seems to have improved and she no longer has "bad dreams". Nell and her group of friends Gwen (Julia Garner), Daphne (Erica Michelle), and Monique (Sharice Angelle Williams) attend a Mardi Gras parade; Nell witnesses many strange happenings there, including masked men watching her. Her personality changes as things get darker. She begins to get hints that the demon Abalam is back.
A mysterious proprietor named Leland Gaunt (von Sydow), claiming to be from Akron, Ohio, opens a new antiques store called "Needful Things" in the small town of Castle Rock, Maine. The store sells various items of great personal worth to the residents (some of which, like a pendant that eases pain or a toy which predicts the outcome of horse races, are clearly supernatural). Gaunt demands payment both in cash and in small "favors", usually pranks played by his customers on their neighbors. Gaunt's first customer is a kid named Brian Rusk (Meier) who buys off a rare baseball card in exchange for a prank.
The film takes place in a distant future where water is so scarce and rationed that it is considered an immensely valuable substance, both as a commodity and as a currency in ice cubes. The Templars of Mithra control the water and they destroyed worlds that had natural water leaving the galaxy virtually dry. Pirates dedicate their lives to raiding ships and looting the ice from the cargo holds to make a living. Jason (Robert Urich) is the leader of a band of pirates that raided a Templar cruiser for its ice, and discovered a beautiful princess (Mary Crosby) in a stasis pod. He decided to kidnap her, waking her up, and alarming the Templars. Jason and his pirates fled, but were pursued by Templar ships. Jason let some of his crew, Maida (Anjelica Huston) and Zeno (Ron Perlman), escape while Roscoe (Michael D. Roberts) stayed to help Jason. They were captured. During their capture, they met Killjoy (John Matuszak) who's been pretending to be monk to avoid being a slave. Jason and Roscoe are sentenced to become slaves, a process which includes castration. Roscoe and Jason are spared castration by the princess, who has taken an interest in them. Princess Karina purchased them as her slaves, to work as servants during her party. That evening, they were reunited with Killjoy (disguised as a robot). Jason, Karina, Roscoe, Killjoy and Nanny managed to leave the planet before the Supreme Commander (John Carradine) arrived to arrest her. Princess Karina is spoiled, and she hired Jason so she can find her father, who went missing while searching for a planet with water. It is rumored he discovered one and the Templars would do anything to keep it a secret in order to maintain power. On their next planet, Jason and Roscoe got reunited with their fellow pirates, Maida and Zeno. They proceed to locate the "lost" planet that contains massive amounts of water. The planet must be approached on a specific course or the ship will be suspended in time forever. The course apparently contains some sort of real or illusory time distortion (resulting in both the heroes and the villains reaching old age during the climactic battle). In the end, the day is saved by the now-adult son of Karina and Jason, the result of a romantic tryst just before entering the time distortion field. As the heroes exit the field, everyones ages regress to what they originally were, leaving Jason and Karin with the knowledge that they will have a child together.
A priest invites Professor Howard Birack and his students to join him in the basement of an abandoned Los Angeles church. He requires their assistance in investigating a mysterious cylinder containing a swirling green liquid. Among those present is Brian Marsh, a student in theoretical physics.
Glen (Stephen Dorff) returns home to find his house abandoned. Nobody answers his calls, but there is a half-eaten dinner in the kitchen and the eerie sound of laughter from somewhere nearby. He goes into the backyard and climbs into the treehouse, where he finds a lit lantern and a doll. The tree is abruptly struck by lightning and collapses.
As a young man, JB (Jack Black) leaves his religious family and oppressive Midwestern town for Hollywood on a quest to form the world's most awesome rock band. There he meets acoustic guitarist KG (Kyle Gass), who is performing on the street, and begins worshipping him as a rock god because of his skills and attitude. KG feeds JB's fantasy by pretending to be famous with a self-named band ("The Kyle Gass Project"), and exploits him to do work such as cleaning his apartment and buying him weed (under the promise that JB can audition for his fictitious band.) After JB learns KG is actually unemployed and living off his parents, the two become equal, and KG apologizes to JB by giving him a brand-new guitar. They create their own band: Tenacious D, named for birthmarks found on their behinds. (JB has a birthmark which says: "Tenac", and KG has a mark which reads: "ious D".