The film opens on a stormy Alabama beach with two children, Melanie Smooter and Jake Perry, chasing each other. Jake has brought Melanie out to show her the glass sculptures that result when sand is struck by lightning. They discuss their future together, with Jake asserting they will be married one day. They kiss and are almost struck by lightning.
In 1963, Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) are hired by Joe Aguirre (Randy Quaid) to herd his sheep through the summer in the Wyoming mountains. After a night of heavy drinking, Jack makes a sexual pass at Ennis, who is initially reluctant but eventually responds to Jack's advances. Though he informs Jack that it was a one-time incident, they develop a sexual and emotional relationship. Shortly after learning their summer together is being cut short, they briefly fight and each is bloodied.
Andy Stitzer (Steve Carell) is a 40-year-old virgin who is involuntarily celibate. He lives alone, collects action figures, plays video games, and his social life seems to consist of watching Survivor with his elderly neighbors. He works in the stockroom at an electronics store called SmartTech. When a friend drops out of a poker game, Andy's co-workers David (Paul Rudd), Cal (Seth Rogen), and Jay (Romany Malco) reluctantly invite Andy to join them. At the game (which he wins, due to playing online poker constantly), when conversation turns to past sexual exploits, Andy desperately makes up a story, but when he compares the feel of a woman's breast to a "bag of sand", he is forced to admit his virginity.
Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman) is a respected but perfectionist actor. Nobody in New York wants to hire him anymore because he is difficult to work with. According to his long-suffering agent George Fields (Sydney Pollack), Michael's attention to detail and difficult reputation led a commercial he worked on to run significantly over-schedule, because the idea of a tomato sitting down was "illogical" to him. After many months without a job, Michael hears of an opening on the soap opera Southwest General from his friend and acting student Sandy Lester (Teri Garr), who tries out for the role of a hospital administrator Emily Kimberly but does not get it. In desperation, and as a result of his agent telling him that "no one will hire you", he dresses as a woman, auditions as "Dorothy Michaels" and wins the part. Michael takes the job as a way to raise $8,000 to produce a play, written by his roommate Jeff Slater (Bill Murray) and to star Sandy, titled Return to Love Canal. Michael plays his character as a feisty, feminist administrator, which surprises the other actors and crew who expected Emily to be (as written) another swooning female in the plot. His character quickly becomes a television sensation.
Laura Burney (Julia Roberts) lives in a beautiful home by the beach on Cape Cod with her husband, Martin Burney (Patrick Bergin), a charming, handsome and wealthy investment counselor who is also possessive, abusive, and controlling. It becomes apparent that he has obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD). Laura tries to abide his rules, but suffers under the strain of doing so. One day, Martin believes Laura has been flirting with an attractive neighbor, and he physically assaults her in a jealous rage. The abuse has been ongoing, and started immediately after their wedding. In an effort to escape Martin, Laura plans and fakes her own death at sea in a storm while the couple are boating. Because Laura had deliberately led Martin to believe that she could not swim, he believed she had died once she was lost overboard. However, Laura was able to swim safely to shore, because she had recently taken swimming lessons at the YWCA. Laura secretly returns home, retrieves some clothing and cash she had hidden away in preparation, disguises herself, and leaves home after flushing her wedding ring down the toilet.
The film begins in an illegal underground dog-fighting arena in Korea, where an FBI agent named John Maxwell (Paul Giamatti) has been identified. John is ordered to be killed by a Korean mob boss, but is eventually rescued by his undercover partner and master of disguise, Malcolm Turner (Martin Lawrence). Suddenly, a group of FBI agents storm around the arena. Meanwhile, a criminal named Lester Vesco (Terrence Howard), who was originally serving a life sentence in prison for murder and armed robbery, escapes from his cell by killing the doctor and stealing his car. The FBI assigns Malcolm and John to capture Lester by sending them to small-town Cartersville, Georgia to stake out the house of a fat, elderly African American woman named Hattie Mae Pierce (Ella Mitchell; whom her friends call "Big Momma"), the estranged Southern grandmother of Lester's ex-girlfriend, Sherry Pierce (Nia Long), who supposedly aided Lester in his original bank robbery by giving him the key to the vault. After Big Momma unexpectedly leaves town to help her ill friend within a couple of weeks, Malcolm and John sneak into her house to plant security cameras and tap the phones. Sherry later calls Big Momma's house and Malcolm disguises his voice as Big Momma in order to lure Sherry and possibly obtain a confession. The plan works, in which Malcolm and John work together on a Big Momma disguise costume before Sherry's arrival the next day.
In 1980, Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) and Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate) are married and are both co-anchors for a prestigious news network in New York City. One day, Mack Tannen (Harrison Ford), the most famous nightly news anchor in New York, reveals that he is retiring. He intends to promote Corningstone, making her the first female nightly news anchor in the history of television, and to fire Burgundy due to his continuously sloppy performance on air. Burgundy grows jealous of Corningstone's success and storms out of the house, leaving Corningstone and his six-year-old son Walter (Judah Nelson).
High school student Casey Becker receives a flirtatious phone call from an unknown person, asking her, "What's your favorite scary movie?" The situation quickly escalates as the caller turns sadistic and threatens her life. He reveals that her boyfriend Steve Orth is being held hostage. After Casey fails to answer a question correctly about horror films, Steve is murdered. When Casey refuses to cooperate with the caller, she is attacked and murdered by a masked killer. Her parents come home to find her body hanging from a tree.
While attending a preview of the film Stab, a film within a film based on the Woodsboro murders depicted in Scream, two Ohio Windsor College seniors, Maureen Evans and Phil Stevens are murdered by Ghostface. Phil is stabbed through the ear in a bathroom stall while trying to eavesdrop on strange whimpering noises. The killer, wearing a Ghostface costume, then returns to the screening and sits beside Maureen, before mortally stabbing her. At first the audience believe she is part of the raucuous acting out by audience members, until she falls dead in front of the cinema screen.
John Clark (Richard Gere) is a lawyer with a charming wife (Beverly, played by Susan Sarandon) and loving family, who nevertheless feels that something is missing as he makes his way every day through the city. Each evening on his commute home through Chicago, John sees a beautiful woman staring with a lost expression through the window of a dance studio. Haunted by her gaze, John impulsively jumps off the train one night, and signs up for ballroom dancing lessons, hoping to meet her.
Peter LaFleur (Vince Vaughn) is the owner of Average Joe's, a small and financially unsuccessful gym with a handful of loyal oddball members. When he defaults on the gym's mortgage, it is purchased by his rival White Goodman (Ben Stiller), a fitness guru and owner of the successful Globo-Gym across the street. Unless Peter can raise $50,000 in thirty days to cover his mortgage, White will foreclose on Average Joe's and demolish it to build a parking garage for his gym members. Attorney Kate Veatch (Christine Taylor) is working on the transaction for White. White repeatedly and unsuccessfully attempts to charm her, and she instead develops a friendship with Peter while reviewing his financial records.
The film is based on the life of Alexander the Great, King of Macedonia, who conquered Asia Minor, Egypt, Persia and part of ancient India. Shown are some of the key moments of Alexander's youth, his invasion of the mighty Persian Empire and his death. It also outlines his early life, including his difficult relationship with his father Philip II of Macedonia, his strained feeling towards his mother Olympias, the unification of the Greek city-states and the two Kingdoms (Macedonia and Epirus) under the Hellenic League, and the conquest of the Persian Empire in 331 BC. It also details his plans to reform his empire and the attempts he made to reach the end of the then known world.
Ricky Bobby (Will Ferrell) is a NASCAR driver who wants to go fast. While he was working on the pit crew of Dennit Racing driver Terry Cheveaux (Adam McKay), Ricky replaces him and ends up finishing in third place, despite starting mid-race in last place. Ricky quickly soars to the top of NASCAR by achieving his fame and fortune at Dennit Racing and meeting his future wife, Carly (Leslie Bibb). Ricky eventually persuades Dennit to field an additional car and arranges to have his best friend, Cal Naughton, Jr. (John C. Reilly), on his team. While he and Cal are on top of the racing world, Ricky challenges his flamboyant French Formula One archrival, Jean Girard (Sacha Barone Cohen), who outperforms him on the track and becomes Dennit Racing's next top driver. Desperate to regain his dominance, Ricky pushes himself too hard during the race at Charlotte Motor Speedway and ends up going airborne, barrel-rolling several times.
Cotton Weary, now living in Los Angeles and the host of a nationally syndicated television show, 100% Cotton, is called by Ghostface, who demands the whereabouts of Sidney Prescott, who has gone into hiding ever since the events of the second film. Cotton refuses to divulge that information, and when Ghostface comes to his home, both Cotton and his girlfriend Christine are murdered.
In 1986, Carl calls his friend Elise Ranier to help discover what is haunting Lorraine Lambert's son, Josh. After hypnotizing Josh, Elise attempts to find the location of Josh's "friend", an old woman who appears in photographs of him. She makes her way to his bedroom closet and is scratched on the arm. When they return to Josh, he stands up in a trance, and says, "I'll show you," before walking to a door and pointing at it as it opens on its own. Lorraine, Carl and Elise agree that making Josh forget his astral projection abilities is the best thing to do.