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Arsenic and Old Lace is a american film of genre Drama directed by Frank Capra released in USA on 23 september 1944 with Cary Grant

Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)

Arsenic and Old Lace
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Mortimer Brewster

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook When I come back, I expect to find you gone. Wait for me!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [to elderly guest] You... Get out of here! D'ya wanna be poisoned? D'ya wanna be murdered? D'ya wanna be killed?

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [to Dr. Einstein] Stop underplaying, I can't hear you!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [to his aunts] This is developing into a very bad habit! I don't know if I can explain it to you. It's not only against the law, it's wrong!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Even the cat's in on it!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [on telephone] Hello... Operator? Can you hear my voice? You can? Are you sure? [Hangs up] Well, then I must be here.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [to Jonathan] Where did you get that face? Hollywood?

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [explaining to Elaine why they shouldn't be married] You wouldn't want to have children with three heads, would you? I mean, you wouldn't want to set up housekeeping in a padded cell. Oh, it would be bad.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [singing] There is a Happy Dale, far, far away...

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [on the telephone] Yes, operator, I'd like the Happy Dale Sanatorium, Happy Dale, New York. Come on, operator, what's taking so long? They're just across the river. I could swim it faster! No, I don't want the Happy Dale Laundry. I want the Happy Dale Sanatorium. Sanatorium, sanatorium, sanatorium. Yes, yes, like a broken record. Hello — what? They're busy? Busy? Look, they're busy and you're dizzy. No, I am not drunk, madam, but you've given me an idea. [throws down the phone in disgust]

Facebook Share this quote on facebook All I did was cross the bridge and I was in Brooklyn. Amazing.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [trying to make Jonathan leave] Now, here's ten dollars. Why don't you be a good sport and go out and haunt yourself a hotel?

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [Meeting with Dr. Gilchrist in the cemetery] Pull up a tombstone!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Certainly there are thirteen bodies in the cellar and there are hundreds more in the attic!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [watching the fighting, lighting up a cigarette] I got the papers signed — papers are all signed, what do I care? Go ahead — fight, fight. [watching the police trying to bring down Jonathan with a shoe] Oh, don't do that. It never works. [Jonathan collapses] What do you know? it worked!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [last lines] No, no. I'm not a Brewster. I'm the son of a sea-cook! Ha! Ha! Chaaaaarrrge!

Elaine Harper

Facebook Share this quote on facebook We were married today. We were going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. Your brother tries to kill me. A taxi is waiting and now you want to sleep on a window seat. You can take the honeymoon, your wedding ring, your taxi, your window seat, and put 'em in a barrel and push 'em all over Niagara Falls!

Jonathan Brewster

Facebook Share this quote on facebook We better not leave the car parked in the street; it might be against the law.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [repeated line] Go to bed, Aunt Abby!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [to Mortimer] If you tell O'Hara what's in the window seat, I'll tell him what's in the cellar. There's an elderly gentleman down there who seems to be very dead.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook This time, I want the face of an absolute non-entity!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook The home of my youth... As a child, I wanted to escape it. Now, I want to escape back into it.

Teddy


Facebook Share this quote on facebook (when told that his "term of office" is over) Is this March the 4th? (Mortimer: Practically.)

Facebook Share this quote on facebook I shall be in my office vetoing some bills.

Dialogue

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Dr. Einstein: At least people in plays act like they've got sense.
Mortimer: Oh, you think so? Did you ever see anybody in a play act like they got any intelligence?
Dr. Einstein: [agonizing] How can anybody be so stupid!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Elaine: But Mortimer, you're going to love me for my mind, too.
Mortimer: One thing at a time!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Mortimer: Yeah, yeah, I know that bromide. Something borrowed, something blue - old, new! Rice and old shoes, carry you over the threshold, Niagara Falls — all the silly tripe I've made fun of for years. Is this what I've come to? I can't go through with it. I won't marry you and that's that!
Elaine: [adoring] Yes, Mortimer.
Mortimer: What do you mean, "Yes, Mortimer"? Aren't you insulted? Aren't you going to cry? Aren't you going to make a scene?
Elaine: [adoring] No, Mortimer.
Mortimer: And don't "No, Mortimer" me either! Don't... Don't you see, marriage is a superstition, it... It's old-fashioned, it's... I... Ohhhh...
[He kisses her and hauls her into the marriage license office]

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Teddy Brewster: I must be catching cold.
Abby Brewster: No, dear, it was Reverend Harper who sneezed.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Rev. Harper: Have you ever tried to persuade him that he wasn't Teddy Roosevelt?
Abby: Oh, no.
Martha Brewster: Oh, he's so happy being Teddy Roosevelt.
Abby: Oh... Do you remember, Martha, once, a long time ago, we thought if he'd be George Washington, it would be a change for him, and we suggested it.
Martha: And do you know what happened? He just stayed under his bed for days and wouldn't be anybody.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [Discussing the body count]
Dr. Einstein: You got twelve, they got twelve.
Jonathan Brewster: I've got thirteen!
Dr. Einstein: No, Johnny, twelve — don't brag.
Jonathan: Thirteen! There's Mr. Spinalzo and the first one in London, two in Johannesburg, one in Sydney, one in Melbourne, two in San Francisco, one in Phoenix, Arizona...
Dr. Einstein: Phoenix?
Jonathan: The filling station...
Dr. Einstein: Filling station? Oh!
[Dr. Einstein draws a finger across his throat]
Dr. Einstein: Yes.
Jonathan: Then three in Chicago and one in South Bend.
Dr. Einstein: You cannot count the one in South Bend. He died of pneumonia!
Jonathan: He wouldn't have died of pneumonia if I hadn't shot him!
Dr. Einstein: No, no, Johnny. You cannot count him. You got twelve, they got twelve. The old ladies is just as good as you are!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Mortimer: The name Brewster is code for Roosevelt.
Teddy: Code for Roosevelt?
Mortimer: Yes. Don't you see? Take the name Brewster, take away the B, and what have you got?
Teddy: Rooster!
Mortimer: Uh-huh. And what does a rooster do?
Teddy: Crows.
Mortimer: It crows. And where do you hunt in Africa?
Teddy: On the veldt!
Mortimer: There you are: crows — veldt!
Teddy: Ingenious! My compliments to the boys in the code department.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Mortimer: Aunt Abby, how can I believe you? There are twelve bodies in the cellar and you admit you poisoned them.
Abby: Yes, I did. But you don't think I'd stoop to telling a fib.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Elaine: Well, that's a fine thing. We're married one minute and you're throwing me out of the house the next.
Mortimer: I am not throwing you out of the house, I am not throwing you out of the house, I am not throwing you out of the house. Will you get out of here?
[He pushes her out and slams the door]

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [after finding the dead body in the window seat]
Mortimer: But — what happened to him?
Martha: [cheerfully] He died.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Teddy: Mr. Witherfork!
Mr. Witherspoon: Spoon!
Mortimer: [hands him spoon] Oh, here you go.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Elaine: But, Mortimer — Niagara Falls.
Mortimer: [distracted] It does? Well, let it.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Jonathan: Perhaps we should introduce ourselves. This is Dr. Einstein.
Elaine: Dr. Einstein?
Jonathan: Yes, a surgeon of great distinction... and something of a magician.
Elaine: Now, I suppose you're going to tell me that you're Boris Kar—
Jonathan: I am Jonathan Brewster!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Jonathan: Teddy, I think it's time for you to go to bed.
Teddy: I beg your pardon. Who are you?
Jonathan: I'm Woodrow Wilson. Go to bed!
Teddy: No, you're not Wilson, but your face is familiar. Let me see. You're not anyone I know right now — perhaps later on my hunting trip. Yes, you look like someone I might meet in the jungle.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Mortimer: [Speaking of a character in a play he has seen] He just sits there waiting to be gagged and tied — the big dope! [Jonathan sneaks up from behind and bounds Mortimer up with rope and a mouth gag]
Dr. Einstein: You know, you were right about that fellow. He wasn't very bright.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Cab Driver: I knew this would end up in the nuthouse.
Mr. Witherspoon: [offended] We like to think of it as a rest home!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Mortimer: You mean you knew what you'd done and you didn't want the Reverend Harper to see the body?
Abby: Well, not at tea. That wouldn't have been very nice.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Dr. Einstein: Johnny, why did you kill that man? He was being nice to us and gave us a ride.
Jonathan: He said I looked like Boris Karloff!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Mortimer: Teddy's killed a man, darlings!
Martha: Oh, nonsense!
Mortimer: But there's a body in the window seat.
Abby: Yes, dear, we know.
Mortimer: You know?
Martha: Of course.
Abby: Yes, but it has nothing to do with Teddy.
Mortimer: But...but...
Abby: Now, Mortimer, you just forget about it. Forget you ever saw the gentleman.
Mortimer: Forget?!
Abby: We never dreamed you'd peek.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Mortimer: Men don't just get into window seats and die!
Abby: Of course not, dear. He died first.
Mortimer: But how?
Abby: The gentleman died because he drank some wine with poison in it. Now, I don't know why you're making such a big deal over this, Mortimer. Don't you worry about a thing!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Jonathan: Tonight, we are taking care of Mortimer. And just for him we'll have something special. I plan on using the Melbourne method.
Dr. Einstein: [cringing] No! Not the Melbourne method, please! Two hours!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Mortimer: Teddy, I'd like to introduce you to a doctor.
Teddy: Dr. Livingstone?
Dr. Gilchrist: He thinks I'm Livingstone?
Mortimer: Uh, that's what he presumes.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Lt. Rooney: Who are you? What's your name?
Mortimer: Well, usually I'm Mortimer Brewster, but I'm not quite myself today.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Abby: Just the thought of Jonathan frightens me. Do you remember how he used to cut worms in half with his teeth?
Mortimer: Oh, Jonathan? He's probably in prison or hanged or something by now.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Mortimer: Wait outside.
Dr. Gilchrist: But it's Halloween!
Mortimer: Oh, don't worry about Halloween. The pixies won't be out till after midnight

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Jonathan: And now doctor... we go to work!
Dr. Einstein: No, Johnny. I cannot operate without a drink!
Jonathan: Pull yourself together, doctor!
Dr. Einstein: I cannot pull myself together without a drink!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook [Mortimer is feeling amorous in the cemetery with Elaine]
Elaine: Mortimer! Right out here in the open with everyone looking?
Mortimer: Yes, right out here in the open with everyone looking. Let everyone in Brooklyn over sixteen look!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Mortimer: What is this? Did everyone in Brooklyn know I was getting married but me?
Martha: We knew you'd find out in time.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Teddy: This is a picture of when I take my hunting trip to Africa. This is me, and this is you.
Dr. Einstein: My how I've changed.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Teddy: [charging up the stairs] CHARGE!!!Charge the block house!!!
Reverend Harper: The blockhouse?
Abby: Yes. The stairs are always San Juan Hill.

Other

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Cab Driver: I'm not a cab driver. I'm a Coffee Pot!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Dr. Einstein: Where am I? Oh, here I am.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Dr. Einstein: We got a hot stiff on our hands!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Martha: One of our gentlemen found time to say 'How delicious!' before he died.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Martha: For a gallon of elderberry wine, I take one teaspoon full of arsenic, then add half a teaspoon full of strychnine, and then just a pinch of cyanide.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Police Sgt. Brophy: They're two of the dearest, sweetest, kindest, old ladies that ever walked the earth. They're out of this world. They're like pressed rose leaves.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Reporter: Seems like the same suckers get married everyday.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Baseball Fan: I'll knock you off, you big stiff! You're a bum!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Abby: Now Mortimer, you behave. You're too old to be flying off the handle like this!

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Abby: [finding the dead body of Mr. Spinelzo in the windowseat] Well, this is a fine how-do-you-do! It's getting so crowded anyone thinks they can be put in here. We've always wanted a double funeral. But I refuse to hold services for a total stranger.

Facebook Share this quote on facebook Dr. Einstein: [hat falling across his eyes] Well, I'm off to Panama. Bon voyage!