Garfield (2004)

Share this quote on facebook See, I get my exercise doing my job. Just one quick CANNONBALL! [He leaps onto Jon's stomach.]

Share this quote on facebook [to Jon, about adopting Odie] You had me, a chick magnet. And now you've got a tick magnet!

Share this quote on facebook [After he switched Jon's hash with his food and Jon eats Garfield's food] Actually, it's liver-flavored!

Share this quote on facebook I was the one! It was all about me! Not about some stupid, sniveling, smelly, high-maintenance, "Disco Dog"!

Share this quote on facebook [first lines] I hate Mondays.

Share this quote on facebook [sees Odie] Another day ruined.

Share this quote on facebook [to Odie when he's being kidnapped] Odie, you're so dumb, you don't even know you're in trouble.

Share this quote on facebook This rescue work is exhausting. When do heroes get to eat?

Share this quote on facebook [repeated line] Oh, my poor nose!

Share this quote on facebook [to the every dog and cat] Canines, felines, and "vermines", it's... showtime!

Share this quote on facebook Now is the time for a plate of courage!

Share this quote on facebook [to Jon while he was take Odie home] Whoa! You went in there to get a date and came out with a dog?! Well, that's bad even for you!

Share this quote on facebook Love me, feed me, never leave me.

Share this quote on facebook Let's step it up a little bit! Something like this!

Share this quote on facebook [Garfield is about to fall approximately 10 stories] You know, I think I had a nightmare about this once...

Share this quote on facebook Once again. My life has been saved by the miracle of lasagna.

Share this quote on facebook That's his last name, Schnitzel?

Share this quote on facebook Sure Jon, I'll eat all your lasagna for you.

Share this quote on facebook And that's the sign that the tank is full.

Share this quote on facebook Down, down, dog.

Share this quote on facebook [surrounded by the street rats] Why am I being surrounded here?! Some of my best friends are vermin.

Share this quote on facebook Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield, has left the cul-de-sac!

Share this quote on facebook Hey, nobody gets to mistreat my dog like that except ME!

Share this quote on facebook [dancing] I feel good!

Share this quote on facebook [voice over] Hi, it's Jon. I was calling to see if Odie's been over there, and... I can't find him around. My name's Jon Arbuckle, and... I can't find my dog. I look all around the neighborhood, and... I can't seem to find him. I saw him last night, but I didn't see him this morning, and... If you see him, give me a call, please. Hi, it's Jon. I was calling to see if you've seen Odie. Um, I think he's run away. I was giving him a bath last night, and forgot to put his collar back on. 'Cause, you know, Garfield hates his collar. [back at home and on the phone] He's about 15 pounds, he's brownish-yellow, with brown floppy ears.

Share this quote on facebook [to Garfield, tried to catch a mouse] What good is a cat, that can't chase a mouse?

Share this quote on facebook [to Liz Wilson] Garfield's gone! He's run away, too! First Odie, and now Garfield. Liz, I am the worst pet owner on the planet!

Share this quote on facebook Let's go for a ride to some place you love, that always leaves you feeling pampered and refreshed.

Share this quote on facebook [sees a mouse in his house] Mouse!

Share this quote on facebook Liz, I've wanted to ask you the same thing for a very long time.

Share this quote on facebook [sees Garfield eats Louis in his mouth] Oh, good boy! See, I knew you could do it if you put your mind to it.

Share this quote on facebook [confronts Happy Chapman] This is for stealing my dog and my cat. [knocks him out with one punch]

Share this quote on facebook [sees Garfield's footprints] Garfield's been here!

Share this quote on facebook [thinking that Garfield is beef] What am I going to do with you?

Share this quote on facebook Happy Chapman took Odie? He's got Garfield, too?

Share this quote on facebook [on the phone] No, Odie's not a hound dog. Yes, I'm sure. No, I don't want another dog. Thanks, anyway. Garfield, lunchtime! I made your favorite lasagna! [no responded]

Share this quote on facebook Never. You guys are my best friends.

Share this quote on facebook Sunday's great, Sunday's good, Sunday.

Share this quote on facebook Garfield!

Share this quote on facebook [looking up at Happy Chapman's building] The Telegraph Tower, in all it's splendor.

Share this quote on facebook [to the street rats] Sorry, rat pack! This cat's with me. You all gotta roll.

Share this quote on facebook I don't do the vertical thing.

Share this quote on facebook Seems like you got yourself in a jam, huh?

Share this quote on facebook Just wait for the walk signal!

Share this quote on facebook There are dangers everywhere.

Share this quote on facebook Sorry, Garfield. Man, I couldn't help it!

Share this quote on facebook Jon's got those macadamia nut cookies! I'm trying to maintain.

Share this quote on facebook Odie's a hero!

Share this quote on facebook Keep walking, creepo.

Share this quote on facebook Hey, that's Happy Chapman! He's going for a ride in a police car.

Share this quote on facebook It just seems like a weird thing to do, bringing a dog into a house that already has a cat.

Share this quote on facebook Hey, look! Garfield's dancin' with Odie. They're like buddies now!

Share this quote on facebook They're off on an adventure and you're still here!

Share this quote on facebook I can see the whole neighbourhood!

Share this quote on facebook [gets overjoyed] Garfield! Garfield's a hero now!

Share this quote on facebook [to a young girl] Eat hairball, Happy Chapman.

Share this quote on facebook In the fur.

Share this quote on facebook Would you please just stop calling me that?! My name isn't really Persnikitty. It's Sir Roland.

Share this quote on facebook [calms Garfield down already] Oh, this really is too much.

Share this quote on facebook And he lets you vacation in this charming animal pound. Hello?

Share this quote on facebook Do you know, that is absolutely charming?

Share this quote on facebook [seeing his brother on TV] Oh please, what a know-it-all. And everybody always said I was the handsome one. I was the smart one. And I was born first. But there you are, "live from The Hague", and here I am, working with this sack of dander on a dead-end regional morning show.

Share this quote on facebook Good Day New York, I know you're gonna flip for Odie because, he sure is flipping for you.

Share this quote on facebook [last lines] Be happy.

Share this quote on facebook [to Garfield] No dumb, dirty animal is ever going to get the better of me. [to Odie] And let's see how you feel with 200 volts coursing through that thick canine skull of yours.

Share this quote on facebook Nice kitty!

Share this quote on facebook [after accidentally having cat allergies] Damned cat allergies.

Share this quote on facebook This collar, is the dog's future.

Share this quote on facebook Now we'll see how smart you really are.

Share this quote on facebook Nermal: Why would he do a thing like that?
Garfield: Gee, I don't know, Nermal.
Nermal: It just seems like a weird thing to do, bringing a dog into a house that already has a cat.
Garfield: Can we drop it? I mean, it's no BIG deal. It's just a splattered bug on the windshield of my life.
Nermal: A bug?
Garfield: A dimwitted, smelly, goofy, splattered bug that I will deal with appropriately and enthusiastically.

Share this quote on facebook Garfield: Oh, Sleeping Beauty, wake up! You can stop dreaming about me, because I'm here now. Just wake up. You've got work to do. You're not just my owner, you're my primary care-giver!
Jon: (still asleep) Not now, Garfield.

Share this quote on facebook Luca: You're on the wrong side of the street, fat cat. Beat it!
Garfield: And you, Luca, the wrong side of the evolutionary curve.
Luca: Okay, that's it. You're gonna get it good today.
Garfield: I make a point to get it good every day. The real question, Luca, is how shall I outwit you this time?
Luca: What?
Garfield: Shall I baffle you with simple math?
Luca: I know how to spell.
Garfield: Or should I distract you with something shiny?
Luca: Now you're making fun of me.
Garfield: I hope so. You're no fun to look at.
Luca: You'll never get the best of me! Aaah!
Garfield: I think I just did.
Luca: Not the ducks again!
Garfield: Jump back! And kiss myself. Oooh!
Luca: If I ever get off this chain, you're goin' down.
Garfield: Everybody back up! I don't know how wild this thing is gonna get. I love the smell of cinnamon-apple in the morning. It smells like... victory.
Luca: Oooh! I hate this fat cat.

Share this quote on facebook Garfield: [feel relaxed] Aah. So much time and so little I need to do. [Just a chubby little mouse appears when Jon spots it]
Jon: Mouse! [Garfield spots also]
Garfield: No thanks, I'm full.

Share this quote on facebook Garfield: [feel relaxed at home] Oh, do I feel good this morning. I slept like a fat CAT. Hey, tall dark and human, what's for breakfast?
Jon: [looking for Odie, concerned] Odie! Where are you boy?
Garfield: Relax, I think he was gonna camp out.
Jon: Odie?
Garfield: Well, he probably had a sleepover at Luca's, I think.
Jon: Odie! Odie?
Garfield: Well, maybe he's fetching the paper for the neighbors. Where is that silly dog?

Share this quote on facebook Garfield: Oh...delicious!

Share this quote on facebook Arlene: Poor Odie. That cat is such a pig!
Nermal: Garfield's a pig?
Arlene: You never put the dog out at night.
Nermal: Why not?
Arlene: Because dogs...run away.

Share this quote on facebook Happy Chapman: Any sign from the network yet?
Wendell: No, but they're looking for a dog act on Good Day New York.
Happy Chapman: Dog act?! Story of my life: Looking for a dog and I'm stuck with a cat!
Wendell: I thought the segment went quite well!
Happy Chapman: (mockingly) "I thought the segment went quite well!" Of course it went well, you TOAD! The fifty housewives who saw it, loved it.

Share this quote on facebook Garfield: You just can't do this, Jon. He's trying to tear us apart. Don't you see that? You know me, I'm too lazy to try to destroy your house. I was provoked, pushed, prodded, driven mad. You can't kick me out of my own house like I'm some kind of animal! Oh come on Jon, Jon. You know I'm scared in the dark.

Share this quote on facebook Luca: Hey! What are you lookin' at?
Garfield: Nothing, just looking for some company.
Nermal: Keep walking, creepo.
Garfield: What's going on?
Arlene: We know how much you hated Odie. We know how much you wanted him gone!
Garfield: Wait a minute. All I wanted was to sleep in "My Own" bed!
Arlene: And to do it, you cast Odie out into the cold, cruel world?!
Nermal: We saw how you locked Odie outside last night!
Garfield: Oh! I don't believe you guys, I didn't know he was gonna run away. He's a DUMB DOG! No, offense, Luca?
Luca: Uh, what?
Garfield: You can't blame me for that.
Nermal: Any one of us could be next.
Arlene: Yeah. There's no room for anybody else in Garfield's world.
Garfield: Huh? Oh, that's a little dramatic.

Share this quote on facebook Jon: It's liver-flavored.
Garfield: (sarcastically) Mmm, delicious...yuck! (when Jon comes back with a fork he does not notice that Garfield has taken his hash-browns and has put his own bowl of cat-food where Jon left his own breakfast; Jon accidentally takes a bite of the cat food)
Jon: AGH!! Oh, LIVER...!! (he runs to the sink and vomits)
Garfield: (smugly) Actually, it's liver-flavored.

Share this quote on facebook Arlene: Garfield, are you all right?
Garfield: I think so. Luca's about to have Odie for lunch.
Arlene: If it wasn't for Odie, you'd be Luca's chew toy.
Nermal: Yeah, he saved your life. Odie's a hero!

Share this quote on facebook Garfield: Thanks a lot, partner.
Louis: Oh, yeah. Hold up, G!
Garfield: [surprised] What?
Louis: Watch out for the popo! You know, 5-o? Controlo?
Garfield: [still surprised] Huh?
Louis: [start to crazy] Animal control, man!
Garfield: Oh, that popo!

Share this quote on facebook Garfield: Louis! What are you doing in the house, when Jon's home?
Louis: Sorry, Garfield. Man, I couldn't help it!
Garfield: Look, when he sees you he expects more from me. Don't you get that?
Louis: Jon's got those macadamia nut cookies! I'm trying to maintain. You understand?
Garfield: Sure, as long as you understand that I have to eat you. [Louis moans]

Share this quote on facebook Happy Chapman: (arrogantly) I can't go on like this anymore, Wendell. I've got to get a dog.
Wendell: Well I think that is a lovely idea! I know you've been sad and lonely since the divorce, and I've tried to be a friend...
Happy Chapman: Not for me, you imbecile! For the act! If I could get my hands on a really talented dog, wouldn't Walter J. just choke on his Emmy?
Wendell: (sees something) Like Odie?
Happy Chapman: Yeah, yeah. Now he was good. He was kind of dopey-looking and spry and--
Wendell: (sees the LOST poster) Lost? (sees Odie on the poster)
Happy Chapman: Huh? (Chapman comes over to the window to see the lost poster; His eyes widen upon recognizing the dog)

Share this quote on facebook Happy Chapman: I believe you found my dog. He answers to "Odie".
Mrs. Baker: Odie?
Happy Chapman: Family name. Oh, Odie! Oh, come on! There you are! Yes! I can live again now. How could I ever repay you?
Mrs. Baker: An autograph would be splendid!
Happy Chapman: Then splendid it shall be.

Share this quote on facebook Joe Bays as Raccoon Lodge Member

Share this quote on facebook Jordan Kaiser as Kid Rat #2