Minions (2015)

Share this quote on facebook Doesn't it feel so good to be bad?

Share this quote on facebook [after seeing Herb's card, reading "I missed you! H."] Herb, seriously, I want to dig up that William Shakespeare so he can see what true writing is. I love it!

Share this quote on facebook This is torture! [the Minions play with a hangman's noose] Guys, cut it out! This is really unprofessional!

Share this quote on facebook Minion: [as a primitive caveman is about to hit a bear with a club] No, no, no! Piñata! [the Minions cheers as the primitive hits the bear with a fly swatter, then the bear eats him alive as the Minions screamed in terror]

Share this quote on facebook Tina: By the time she was 13, she built a criminal empire!

Share this quote on facebook Frankie Fishlips: [as Scarlet declares that all the villains have one thing in common] WE WERE BORN WITH FLIPPERS! … No? Just me? Okay.

Share this quote on facebook Scarlet: Do you know who this is? [points at a British Royal portrait]
Kevin: Uh... la cucaracha?
Scarlet: This is Queen Elizabeth, ruler of England. I love England. Their music, the fashion. I'm seriously thinking about overthrowing it someday. Anyway. This pale drink of water oversees it all. I'm her biggest fan, loved her work. And I really, really, really want her crown!

Share this quote on facebook Scarlet: Steal me the crown, and all your dreams come true. RESPECT POWER!
Stuart: BANANA!
Scarlet: BANANA!

Share this quote on facebook Herb: Woah! These guys are pumped!
Scarlet: Maybe I'll settle them down with a bedtime story. How does that sound, Bob? Bob?, Bob? [screaming louder] BOB?
Bob: Bedtime story?
Herb: That is a groovy idea! I'll get some cookies and warm milk. This is gonna be so fun!
[Bob asks Scarlet if she has a good bedtime story]
Scarlet: Oh, yes. I've got a really really really good bedtime story. [beginning to count the history] Once upon a time, there were 3 little pigs. One fateful day, the pigs encountered a big, bad wolf who had a wonderful surprise for them. The wolf offered the 3 piggies and all their friends a job working for her. Everyone would be so happy. All the 3 little piggies had to do was just steal one little crown that the beautiful wolf had wanted ever since she was a penniless little street cub, unloved and abandoned… but that crown would mean she was a princess, and everybody loves the princess, so the wolf sent the piggies to get that crown... but the little piggies weren't up to the challenge. They failed their mission, so the wolf huffed and puffed, and she blew them off the face of the earth! The end. [Kevin and Stuart are scared] Good luck getting that crown tomorrow, little piggies. I know you wouldn't disappoint me. [the light turns off while they look Bob sleeping]

Share this quote on facebook Keeper of the Crown (who's blinded): So… you came for the queen's crown, did ya? Well, you're gonna have to get through me! The keeper of her crown!
[Kevin, Stuart and Bob laugh because the tower guard is in the wrong direction]
Kevin: [speaks Minionese mockingly while the keeper gets hit in the head with a cane] Augh, hey!
Keeper of the Crown: You think it's funny to mock the elderly, do ya?
Kevin: Uh... si? [the tower guard hits Kevin in the head] Augh!
Keeper of the Crown: I've been up here for decades… [hits Kevin right between his legs with his cane while he screams] ...Just waiting for someone to try and steal the Queen's treasure! [wacks Kevin to the wall with his cane]

Share this quote on facebook Queen Elizabeth II: [beats up Stuart] Gentleman... do... not... steal... ladies'... crowns...!

Share this quote on facebook Bob: King Bob!

Share this quote on facebook [in a spa, with two fire hydrants]
Stuart: Ah, Claire. Ooh, Tiffany. Mi bellas! Rawr. [kisses them]

Share this quote on facebook Scarlet: [angry] How dare you? [gets hit by a ball] Aaaaaahhhhh! [pounced on by a dog, who licks her, but Scarlet throws the dog back onto the floor, scaring the painter.]
Kevin: [relieved] Scarlet!
Scarlet: [gets mad at the minions] Don't you "Scarlet" me, you backstabbing little traitors! Using Herb's invention to steal my crown?!
Herb: I feel used. Not gonna lie.
Scarlet: You stole my dream. I was going to conquer England someday. There was going to be a coronation, and I was going to be made queen. Every moment was planned. I’d wear a dress so sparkly it glowed, and everyone who ever doubted me would be watching and they would be crying. I was going to be the picture of elegance and class, and you pinheads screwed it up!

Share this quote on facebook Herb: Scarlet, you're okay!
Scarlet: [enraged] HE TRIED TO KILL ME!
Kevin: Uh, no, no... [speaks Minionese]
Scarlet: Villains, this is no longer a coronation! It is an execution!! GET THEM!!! [The villains charge to seize the Minions; they scream and run away]

Share this quote on facebook Uh oh.

Share this quote on facebook Meet Stuart, Kevin & Bob

Share this quote on facebook Go back to where it all began.

Share this quote on facebook Before Gru, they had a history of bad bosses

Share this quote on facebook It's going to be a blast.

Share this quote on facebook Michael Beattie — Walter Nelson Jr. and Villain-Con Announcer

Share this quote on facebook Paul Thornley — News Reporter

Share this quote on facebook Kevin, Stuart and Bob the 3 main Minions