Scary Movie 4 (2006)

Share this quote on facebook All I've got is my kids, and my car. They mean the world to me. [slams Rachel's head in car door.]

Share this quote on facebook Gee, I wonder why I spend every waking moment of my life operating a crane... God, I hate my job. [starts playing with a crane machine]

Share this quote on facebook [After finding Michael Jackson with a group of children] Run away, kids! Run towards the Tri-pods if you have to!

Share this quote on facebook Well, they don't call it churnin' where I come from!

Share this quote on facebook What?! We at peace now, I was just sealin' the deal!

Share this quote on facebook This is some shit, up with which we will not put.

Share this quote on facebook (holding up Shaquille O'Neal's femur) I don't believe it! The aliens killed a dinosaur!

Share this quote on facebook (having a nightmare) Lil' Kim- Lil' Kim got my sandwich. Look out- Russell Crowe's got a phone! R.Kelly, don't pee on me! MY LOVELY LADY LUMPS! Where are we?!

Share this quote on facebook (Cindy is going to cut her own eye) Zoltar, get in here! This one's gonna do it!

Share this quote on facebook I'm sorry for killing millions of people. Whatever!

Share this quote on facebook We are so fucked.

Share this quote on facebook Gentlemen, you don't know me, but I know you. You both play games with people for a living, but now you are going to be playing for your lives.

Share this quote on facebook I don't know! I was doing a show on teens with abandonment issues and then I blacked out and woke up here! Man, those kids are gonna be pissed!

Share this quote on facebook I just tell people to "get real." I'm not even a doctor... I'm an electrician.

Share this quote on facebook Your feelings?! To hell with your feelings! Everybody with their feelings! "I'm obese, my kid's a brat, help me, help me!" Just shut up! (crying)

Share this quote on facebook Why can't I fix anyone of them? I'm so dumb and worthless. Mama was right, Mama was right!

Share this quote on facebook What's the difference between a Belgian and a lump of dog shit? The Belgian drinks wine, but the dog shit smells good!

Share this quote on facebook Tom: Get in the car, Marvin, or you're gonna die!
Marvin: Okay...(reaches for handle but the door is locked. looks at Tom)
Tom: Well, wait while I...(tries to unlock door but Marvin pulls handle at the same time. This happens a few times.) Don't do that.
Marvin: Come on!
Tom: Okay, on the count of three. One! Two! Three! (Tom unlocks door but again Marvin pulls handle) Why would you do that? Why would you go at the same time I do? That's what all this is about!!
Marvin: Hey, you said go on three.
Tom: What the fuck?
Marvin: Wait, your three, or my three?
Tom: There's only one three! You go on four!
Marvin: So, now I gotta go on four? You're makin' the black man wait for you?!
Tom: Just go on four! One...
Marvin: No. No one. I'm out. I'll take the next one, that okay with you. (backs away)
Tom: Sheesh...attitude. (puts car in drive and leaves)
Marvin: For real...I'd rather be dead. (gets zapped by Tri-pod.)

Share this quote on facebook Shaq: (After throwing the rock into the basketball) Boo-yah!
Dr. Phil: Yes!

Share this quote on facebook Shaq: He doesn't want us to cut through our chains...he wants us to cut through our feet. You first.
Dr. Phil: Bullshit!
Shaq: I guess your mama was right... maybe you're not man enough!
Dr. Phil: (looks up) NEVER!!!!! Who's the coward NOW, Mama?! (Saws through his foot)
Shaq: Candy from a baby.
Dr. Phil: I've done it! We're saved! (holds up foot)
Shaq: Oh, my God! (points)
Dr. Phil: What's wrong?!
Shaq: Wrong foot!
Dr. Phil: (looks down) Motherfu.... (hits floor with a thud.)

Share this quote on facebook Brenda: Is something wrong?
Cindy Campbell: No, it's just... I met this guy, and I wonder if he's safe. Oh, you'd love him, Brenda.
Brenda: What's his name? I might've already loved him.
Cindy Campbell: Tom Ryan.
Brenda: Yeah, did him. Big, fat Chinese guy?
Cindy Campbell: No...no.
Cindy Campbell: (relieved) But he is the kind of guy I'd like to share the rest of my life with.

Share this quote on facebook Cindy Campbell: Oh, my God!
Mr. Koji: Don't mind her. She slip and fall. You my new best employee! Ready start today?

Share this quote on facebook Oliver: We gotta find a way to take out these tripods. I heard that the Japs took out a few of 'em over in Kikkoman.
Tom Ryan: Kikkoman. That's...that's a soy sauce.
Oliver: Right, yeah. Low sodium.

Share this quote on facebook Secret Service Agent: Mr. President, we've just received word the planet is under attack by aliens.
President Harris: Oh, okay...
Secret Service Agent: Sir, they've already wiped out some of our cities, if nothing is done they'll kill us all.
President Harris: I see. Well, I'll deal with that later, but right now I need to find out what's happening with the duck.
Secret Service Agent: Sir, with each passing moment more people will die.
President Harris: The people are gonna die regardless. But this duck still has a fighting chance.
Secret Service Agent: I've read the story before, Mr. President. The duck dies...
(the President spits milk all over the elementary school kids)
President Harris: Oh my God! That's horrible!

Share this quote on facebook Tom's Neighbor #1: Why is the sky so dark?!
Tom's Neighbor #2: Why is the wind moving towards the storm?!
Tom's Neighbor #3: (sees laundry flapping in the wind) Why don't any of us have dryers?!

Share this quote on facebook Mahalik: Grandma?! The zombies have got my grandma!
(Mahalik grabs his grandma and starts shaking her)
Mahalik: Die, Grandma! Die! Die! I loved you! I loved you!

Share this quote on facebook Cindy Campbell: (to Tom) I was married once...
Cindy's Husband: (flashback) Git outta the way, bitch!
Cindy Campbell: Don't call me no bitch! You ain't shit!
Cindy's Husband: Shut yo ass up, snow ho!
(Cindy throws glass bottle)
Cindy Campbell: (flashback ends) Well, actually, married twice.

Share this quote on facebook Marilyn: (as Tom pulls up in his car) Late again, Tom.
Tom Ryan: Hey, Marilyn.
Marilyn: I thought you were moving.
Tom Ryan: Oh, it's all I could afford right now. You took everything in the divorce except my name.
Marilyn: No, actually, the judge granted me that yesterday. You're now officially known as "Horace P. MacTitties."

Share this quote on facebook Cindy Campbell: It looks like we have a lot in...
Tom Ryan: ...common.
Cindy Campbell: We're already finishing each other's...
Tom Ryan: ...dinner!

Share this quote on facebook Saw Villain: Let the game begin.
Cindy Campbell: I... I don't get it.
Saw Villain: Okay...maybe this will help you "see."
(a knife comes out from the wall)
Cindy Campbell: You want me to cut something?
Saw Villain: That... should be obvious, yes.
(she goes to cut her wrist)
Saw Villain: No.
(she reaches out to cut Brenda's shoulder)
Saw Villain: No! The key is behind your eye, okay?!

Share this quote on facebook Brenda: Hey, Cindy! Look, I'm on TV, y'all! Check it out! I'm gonna give a shout out to all my peeps!
(Jigsaw turns around and slaps Brenda in the face)
Brenda: HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?! (bashing Jigsaw's face into the camera) NO ONE...BITCH SLAPS...BRENDA!
Jigsaw: Zoltar, help!
(Zoltar comes in to help his partner)
Jigsaw: Oh, this is some bullshit!
(Brenda grabs the pipe and whacks Jigsaw with it before pushing Zoltar out of view)

Share this quote on facebook Robbie: Dad, talk to me! What's happening?
Tom Ryan: There's no time to explain! (a man runs past the window, screaming)
Random Guy: Alien attack!
Tom Ryan: Well, actually, that about sums it up.

Share this quote on facebook They're coming. We need your support.

Share this quote on facebook What Is With The Scary Movies?

Share this quote on facebook Based on True Events

Share this quote on facebook Longer... Raunchier... Funnier!

Share this quote on facebook Enter at your own risk!

Share this quote on facebook The funniest thing you ever sawed.

Share this quote on facebook The fourth and final chapter of the trilogy

Share this quote on facebook Bury the grudge. Burn the village. See the saw.