The Addams Family (1991)

Share this quote on facebook [looking through Fester's suitcase] Crowbar... dynamite... cyanide. Fester- as if we'd run out.

Share this quote on facebook And our credo, "Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc"..."We gladly feast on those who would subdue us". Not just pretty words.

Share this quote on facebook Wednesday, play with your food!

Share this quote on facebook Thing, you're a handful.

Share this quote on facebook Don't torture yourself, Gomez- that's my job.

Share this quote on facebook Gomez, last night, you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. [pause] Do it again!

Share this quote on facebook [looking through an armoire] Uncle Nick-Nack's winter wardrobe... Uncle Nick-Nack's summer wardrobe... Uncle Nick-Nack...

Share this quote on facebook They say she danced naked in the town square and enslaved a minister! But don't worry, we told Wednesday, "College first."

Share this quote on facebook [watching Pugsley sleep] He looks so sweet... just like a little entrée.

Share this quote on facebook [to Tully] Dirty pool, old man. I like it!

Share this quote on facebook "How do you take it off?" That's absurd! That finger trap was a party favor at his 10th birthday! He wore that finger trap for two years! Mother had to teach him to eat with his feet!

Share this quote on facebook Taught to us by our Cossack cousins, the Mamushka has been an Addams family tradition since God knows when. We danced the Mamushka while Nero fiddled. We danced the Mamushka at Waterloo. We danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper. And now, Fester Addams, this Mamushka is for you.

Share this quote on facebook That's the spirit, Thing! Lend a hand!

Share this quote on facebook They say that a man who represents himself in court has a fool for a client. And, with God as my witness, I am that fool!

Share this quote on facebook 2, 10, 11- eyes, fingers, toes!

Share this quote on facebook Morticia in danger stop. Send help at once stop

Share this quote on facebook [when asked about her Halloween costume] This is my costume. I'm a homicidal maniac- they look just like everyone else.

Share this quote on facebook Don't be a baby. I know what I'm doing.

Share this quote on facebook [upon seeing that Fester is actually Gordon] I knew it! You are a fake!

Share this quote on facebook Grandma: Dinner's gonna be late. [goes outside chasing a cat] Here, boy! Here, boy!

Share this quote on facebook Fester: Three parts dynamite, with a nitroglycerin cap. It's perfect for small homes, carports and toolsheds.

Share this quote on facebook Wednesday: [hooking up an electric chair] Pugsley, sit in the chair.
Pugsley: Why?
Wednesday: So we can play a game.
Pugsley: What game?
Wednesday: [strapping him in] It's called, "Is There a God?"

Share this quote on facebook Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday: Yes.
Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?
Pugsley: Yes.
Girl Scout: I'll tell you what- I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

Share this quote on facebook Morticia: Children, what are you doing?
Wednesday: I'm going to electrocute him.
Morticia: But we're late for the charity auction.
Wednesday: But, Mother!
Morticia: [firmly] I said no.
Pugsley: Pleeaaaase?
Morticia: [smiling indulgently] Oh, all right.

Share this quote on facebook Wednesday: Pass the salt.
Morticia: And what do we say?
Wednesday: [sternly] Now.

Share this quote on facebook Gomez: How long has it been since we waltzed?
Morticia: Oh, Gomez...hours.

Share this quote on facebook Dr. Pinder-Schloss: The human spirit, it is a very difficult thing to kill.
Grandma: Even with a chainsaw!

Share this quote on facebook Dr. Pinder-Schloss: Love/hate, hate/love. Like for mama, no?
Gomez: But I didn't hate my mother- it was an accident!

Share this quote on facebook [Morticia and Grandma examine a valuable heirloom Morticia is donating to charity]
Grandma: Let's keep it!
Morticia: Hush, mama! It's for charity! Widows and orphans. We need more of them.

Share this quote on facebook Margaret: [regarding Cousin Itt] Everyone keeps asking where he got his costume.
Gomez: It is a wonderful hat.

Share this quote on facebook Sally Jessy Raphael: So, you say your son was kidnapped by voodoo witch doctors? Let's take a call.
Gomez: Hello, Sally?
Sally Jessy Raphael: [frustrated] Mr. Addams, please, stop calling! We do not know where they meet!

Share this quote on facebook Morticia: Gomez, let's go for a drive- the whole family.
Gomez: A drive? And miss Gilligan?

Share this quote on facebook Uncle Fester: Haven't you ever slaughtered anyone before?
Wednesday: He's only a child.
Uncle Fester: That's no excuse! Aim for a major artery. The jugular.

Share this quote on facebook [Gomez and Fester are watching home movies]
Gomez: Do you remember that fateful night?
Uncle Fester: [hedging] Um...your first cigar!
Gomez: What? Come on, old man, I've smoked since I was 5- Mother insisted.

Share this quote on facebook Margaret: This is always so embarrassing. Why did I marry you?
Tully: Because I said yes.

Share this quote on facebook Judge: [after a golf ball crashes through his window] Damn you, Addams!
Gomez: Sorry about the window, Judge. Keep the ball, I have a whole bucket full!
Judge: You moron!

Share this quote on facebook Dr. Pinder-Schloss: [faking an over-the-top Germanic accent] Mr. Addams, I beleef I am understandink. I can help. Jais? Ze theory of displacement, is zis familiar?
Gomez: No. Tish?
Dr. Pinder-Schloss: Oh, it is too exciting! I vill explain.
Gomez: [eagerly] Is it unpleasant?
Dr. Pinder-Schloss: Deeply. Your very own bruzzer, you drive him avay. "Go, off viz you!" But zen, you are feelink ze little black monster.
Gomez: Pugsley?
Dr. Pinder-Schloss: Guilt! Jais! Your bruzzer returns, you feel guilty- you displace.

Share this quote on facebook Gomez: [helping Morticia out of a torture device] Leather straps...red-hot pokers...
Morticia: Later, my dearest.

Share this quote on facebook Wednesday: It has to warm up.
Pugsley: Why?
Wednesday: So it can kill you.
Pugsley: I knew that.

Share this quote on facebook Abigail Craven: Can it, Gordon! Stop dragging your feet! You disgust me! You're nothing but a useless sniveling baby! A stone around my neck! What was I thinking? I should have left you where I found you!
Uncle Fester: No tricks, Gomez! That's the wrong book! Allow me.
Gomez: Good show, old man.
Tully Alford: Put that book down, Gordon! You don't know what it can do! It's not just literture!
Uncle Fester: Oh, really?
Morticia: Quickly, my darling!
Tully Alford: Gordon I'm your friend, think of the doubloons!
Uncle Fester: They're not yours, Tully! Back off!
Gomez: Leather straps, red-hot pokers...
Morticia: Later, my dearest.
Abigail Craven: Keep the book closed, Gordon. Listen to mother!
Uncle Fester: I'll never listen to you, never, ever again!
Abigail Craven: I had to be strict with you because I cared! Put it down!
Uncle Fester: You never really loved me!
Gomez: Fester, this way!
Abigail Craven: Stop whining, you little good-for-nothing! Be a man!
Uncle Fester: You were a terrible mother! There! I said it!

Share this quote on facebook Pugsley: Are they dead?
Wednesday: Does it matter?

Share this quote on facebook Jimmy Workman — Pugsley Addams

Share this quote on facebook Elizabeth Wilson — Dr. Greta Pinder-Schloss