The Witches of Eastwick (1987)

Share this quote on facebook I see men, sixty, seventy years old breaking their balls to stay fit! What for? When I die, I want to be sick, not healthy.

Share this quote on facebook Men are such cocksuckers aren't they? You don't have to answer that. It's true. They're scared. Their dicks get limp when confronted by a woman of obvious power and what do they do about it? Call them witches, burn them, torture them, until every woman is afraid. Afraid of herself... afraid of men... and all for what? Fear of losing their hard-on.

Share this quote on facebook Sorry, uh, just having a little trouble, a little trouble at home. A little domestic problem. Nothing to be alarmed at. Just a little female problem. Hi. [he vomits] Don't pay any attention. It's a cheap trick. Anybody can do it. I taught it to them myself. Ungrateful little bitches, aren't they?

Share this quote on facebook Alexandra Medford: I don't think that men are the answer to everything.
Sukie Ridgemont: No.
Jane Spofford: Then why do we always end up talking about them?

Share this quote on facebook [constructing their ideal man]
Sukie Ridgemont: Huge.
Jane Spofford: I prefer small.
Sukie Ridgemont: Oh, yeah, right...
Jane Spofford: No, no, no, Sam was huge, and there were times when I just could not face it.
Alexandra Medford: Really? Well, I'm sort of in the middle myself. But hey, as long as it works, it's in.
Sukie Ridgemont, Alexandra Medford, Jane Spofford: It's in.
[they clink glasses]

Share this quote on facebook Daryl Van Horne: Of course, I wouldn't know a snowy egret if I were pissing on one. Lunch?
Alexandra Medford: I think it's a little late in the season.
Daryl Van Horne: For lunch?
Alexandra Medford: No, pissing on birds.

Share this quote on facebook Daryl Van Horne: I see men running around, trying to put their dicks into everything, trying to make something happen. But it's women who are the source, the only power. Nature. Birth. Rebirth. Cliché. Cliché, sure, but true.
Alexandra Medford: Why are you telling me this?
Daryl Van Horne: Because you're an honest woman and I'm being honest with you. [he stands] I like women. I admire them. But if you want me to treat you like a dumb twit, I will. But what's the point? You have brains, Alex, more than brains. And you don't even know it, do you? Well, most women do not.
Alexandra Medford: Are you married?
Daryl Van Horne: Good question! You see? Brains. The answer is no. I don't believe in it. Good for the man. Lousy for the woman. She dies. She suffocates. I've seen it. And then the husband runs around complaining to everyone that he's fucking a dead person. And he's the one who killed her. [laughs] Where is your husband?
Alexandra Medford: Dead.
Daryl Van Horne: Well, sorry, but you're one of the lucky ones. When a woman unloads a husband, or a husband unloads a woman, however it happens - death, desertion, divorce - the three D's - when that happens, a woman blooms. She blossoms. Like flowers. Like fruit. She is ripe. That's the woman for me. [he lights a cigar] Would you like to see my house?...In case anybody ever needed any exercise, the uh, pool's right over there, past the piano, where the, uh, ballroom used to be. Interesting word - 'ballroom.'... And, uh, over there is, uh, my study. Ah, this is my bedroom...The Borgias once owned the bed. Of course, you have to pay for it with your soul, but, uh, what the hell, I deserve a little luxury. You have to take care of yourself. No one's gonna do that for you, are they, hmm? [he reclines on the bed]
Alexandra Medford: What is it that you think you're doing?
Daryl Van Horne: Being as direct with you as I know how. I thought you might appreciate it. And, uhm, anyway, I always like a little pussy after lunch. Whaddya say?
Alexandra Medford: Are you trying to seduce me?
Daryl Van Horne: I wouldn't dream of seducing you, Alexandra. I wouldn't insult your intelligence with anything as trivial as seduction. But, uh, I would love to fuck you.
Alexandra Medford: Well, you know, I have to admit that I appreciate your directness, Daryl. And I will try and be as direct and honest with you as I possibly can be. Uh, I think - no, I-I am positive that you are the most unattractive man I have ever met in my entire life. You know, in the short time we've been together, you have demonstrated every loathsome characteristic of the male personality and even discovered a few new ones. You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded. You're morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid. You have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you smell. You're, you're not even interesting enough to make me sick.
Daryl Van Horne: Uhm, would you like to be on the top or the bottom?
Alexandra Medford: Good-bye Daryl, and thank you for a lovely lunch.

Share this quote on facebook Alexandra Medford: Who are you?
Daryl Van Horne: Just your average, horny little devil.

Share this quote on facebook Felicia Alden: [after being dragged out of the church] There once was a paradise, and then a serpent came into that garden.
Clyde Alden: Oh, for christ sakes, Felicia, would you stop? Please, just stop, stop.
Felicia Alden: Oh, Clyde, I have nothing against a good fuck, but there is danger here and somebody has to do something about it.

Share this quote on facebook Felicia Alden: [while being fed oatmeal in the hospital] You know, you sit there in that pathetic excuse for an office, reporting gossip, while under your very nose, evil is doing its worst. You have no spine, Clyde. Not one ounce of morality. Versed, even common sense. Nuclear holocaust, rape, murder, apartheid. Why these words they mean nothing to you.
Clyde Alden: It's a local newspaper, Honey.
Felicia Alden: It's local turpitude. You are a failure, Clyde. You know you should be strung up with that son-of-a-bitch who bought that house.

Share this quote on facebook Something wicked this way comes.

Share this quote on facebook Three beautiful Witches, One lucky Devil

Share this quote on facebook Three Beautiful Women. One Lucky Devil.

Share this quote on facebook Keith Jochim - Walter Neff