Tropic Thunder (2008)

Share this quote on facebook I know who I am! I'm a dude playing the dude, disguised as another dude! You a dude who don't know who dude he is.

Share this quote on facebook There ya go get him chugging on some of Alpa's "Ass-Water" that will bring him around, it's a cure all.

Share this quote on facebook Damien: Crisis meeting? What does that mean, exactly? I mean, you know, are we in a crisis?
Rob: He's the head of the studio. He's reaching out. We're 10,000 miles away. He just wants a little face-time.
Damien: I know. It's just you said he called it a crisis meeting. So, you know...
Rob: It's Les Grossman. He throws these words around. "Crisis," "explosion," "not rolling," "fired." These are just words.

Share this quote on facebook [The Tropic Thunder production crew have a video conference with studio exec Les Grossman]
Les Grossman: Which one of you fuckfaces is Damien Cockburn?
Damien Cockburn: Uh, that's me, sir. It's an honor to finally meet you. Get some face time.
Grossman: And who here is the key grip? [the key grip raises his hand] You? You! Hit that director in the face, really fucking hard!
Key Grip: [reluctantly walks over to Damien] Sorry, man. [punches him in the face]
Grossman: This is all your fault, you Limey fuck! You shit the money-bed, my friend.

Share this quote on facebook Kirk Lazarus: What about you, Master Blaster? You got a certain someone you trying to get with back in the States?
Kevin Sandusky: What, Alpa Chino? He's like ten girls deep, 24/7.
Lazarus: No, you missin' me, man. I'm talking about something special. Big difference. How about it?
Alpa Chino: Yeah. Yeah, there is.
Lazarus: Well? What's the skinny? Y'all been on a date or what?
Chino: No. I mean...I always wanted to, but, I guess I just never had the courage to ask. It's...it's complicated.
Lazarus: No! It's simple as pie, man. You plant your feet on the ground, you look her square in the eyes, you say, "Hey. Baby, you and me's going on a date." That's the end of the story. What's her name?
Chino: ...Lance.
Lazarus: "Listen here, Lance..." Lance? What the fuck did I just hear? Lance?
Sandusky: Did you say, "Lance"?
Chino: No!
Sandusky: That sounded like "Lance".
Chino: No, I said "Nance".
Sandusky: It sounded like "Lance".
Chino: Look, I'm Alpa Chino, okay? I love the pussy, all right? Lay your ass back down and look at the stars.
Lazarus: When you wrote "I Love Tha Pussy", was you thinking of dangling your dice on Lance's forehead?
Chino: Naw, hell no! What? Come on, look...
Lazarus: Man, everyone's gay once in a while!
Chino: I'm not gay!
Lazarus: This is Hollywood!
Chino: How about we all get back to work?
Lazarus: Okay, cool.
Chino: This is ridiculous! We got a big day tomorrow. Let's get focused.
Jeff Portnoy: Alpa, if you untie me, I will literally suck your dick right now.
Chino: I told you, for the last time, I love tha' pussy!
Portnoy: I'll cradle the balls...stroke the shaft...work the pipe...swallow the gravy. Get it over here, buddy. Let's do this.

Share this quote on facebook Studio Executive Rob Slolom: Wow. Eight Oscars, 400 million dollars at the box office, and you saved Tugg Speedman's career.
Les Grossman: I couldn't have done it without you.
Slolom: Really?
Grossman: No, dickhead. Of course I could. A nutless monkey could do your job. Now, go get drunk and take credit at all the parties.
Slolom: I wouldn't do that.
Grossman: Ah... joking.
Slolom: Ah, there he is! Funny. You're a funny guy.
Grossman: Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job.