In 1951, two policemen, Nock and Staehl, investigate mathematician Alan Turing after an apparent break-in at his home. Turing's suspicious behaviour and lack of war records triggers Nock's suspicion that he might be a Soviet spy. During his interrogation by Nock, Turing tells of his time working at Bletchley Park.
Former Army Ranger Cameron Poe is sentenced to prison for manslaughter for using excessive force on a drunk man while trying to protect his pregnant wife Tricia. Poe is paroled eight years later, and is to be released after being flown to Alabama on the Jailbird, a C-123K transport prison aircraft. Along with Poe are several other prisoners including his diabetic cellmate and friend Mike "Baby-O" O'Dell, who is being transferred (but not yet paroled) with Poe. The transfer is being overseen by U.S. Marshal Vince Larkin, as the transfer includes notorious criminal mastermind Cyrus "Cyrus The Virus" Grissom, gangster and Black Guerrilla member Nathan "Diamond Dog" Jones and mass murderer William "Billy Bedlam" Bedford for their transfer to a new Supermax prison. Larkin is approached at the last minute by DEA agents Duncan Malloy and Willie Sims, who ask for Sims to be brought aboard disguised as a prisoner so that he can extract more information from drug lord Francisco Cindino, a prisoner that is to be picked up at Carson City, Nevada en route. Larkin agrees, unaware that Malloy has hidden a gun on Sims' body.
Andrew Beckett (Tom Hanks) is a Senior Associate at the largest corporate law firm in Philadelphia. Beckett hides his homosexuality and his status as an AIDS patient from the other members of the law firm. On the day Beckett is assigned the firm's newest and most important case, a partner in the firm notices a lesion on Beckett's forehead. Although Beckett attributes the lesion to a racquetball injury, it is actually due to Kaposi's Sarcoma, a form of cancer marked by multiple tumors on the lymph nodes and skin.
In 1978, a young Dave Buznik is about to kiss the girl of his dreams, when a local bully, Arnie Shankman, pulls down his pants and underwear, embarrassing him in front of everybody. This leaves Dave with lasting trauma about public affection, as well as repressing his emotions. In the present day, Dave Buznik lives in New York, working as a secretary for Frank Head, an abusive boss who takes credit for Dave's work. His problems also extend to his private life, his girlfriend Linda's ex-boyfriend Andrew still being close friends with her and being condescending to Dave at work.
Chuck Levine, a womanizing bachelor, and Larry Valentine, a widower struggling to raise his two children, are two veteran New York City fire fighters. During a routine sweep of a burned building, a segment of floor collapses on Chuck. However, Larry quickly shields him from the falling debris, saving his life. Later, he and Chuck wake up in a hospital, where Chuck vows to repay Larry in any way possible. This incident serves as a catalyst for Larry's epiphany: death is both inevitable and unpredictable. This prompts him to significantly increase his life insurance policy, but he runs into difficulties naming his children as primary beneficiaries in his policy. He is told he should get remarried so his new spouse could be the primary beneficiary; however, it doesn't specify who he has to marry. Inspired by a newspaper article about domestic partnerships, Larry asks Chuck to enter a civil union with him. Although Chuck declines at first, he is reminded of his debt to Larry and finally agrees, entering a domestic partnership and becoming Larry's primary beneficiary in the event of his death. To their dismay, however, New York City investigators soon arrive to inquire about their abrupt partnership, under suspicion of fraud. Chuck and Larry decide to enlist the help of lawyer Alex McDonough, played by Jessica Biel, who suggests they get married and move in together to prove they're committed. Chuck reluctantly agrees. The pair soon travel to Canada for a quick marriage (so quick they use a nearby homeless person as the best man) and begin living together.
Armand Goldman is the openly gay owner of a drag club in South Beach called The Birdcage and his partner Albert is "Starina" the star attraction of the club and a very effeminate and flamboyant man. Living with them is Agador, their flamboyant Guatemalan housekeeper who dreams of being in Albert's drag show as well.
The film opens on a stormy Alabama beach with two children, Melanie Smooter and Jake Perry, chasing each other. Jake has brought Melanie out to show her the glass sculptures that result when sand is struck by lightning. They discuss their future together, with Jake asserting they will be married one day. They kiss and are almost struck by lightning.
In 1963, Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) are hired by Joe Aguirre (Randy Quaid) to herd his sheep through the summer in the Wyoming mountains. After a night of heavy drinking, Jack makes a sexual pass at Ennis, who is initially reluctant but eventually responds to Jack's advances. Though he informs Jack that it was a one-time incident, they develop a sexual and emotional relationship. Shortly after learning their summer together is being cut short, they briefly fight and each is bloodied.
Andy Stitzer (Steve Carell) is a 40-year-old virgin who is involuntarily celibate. He lives alone, collects action figures, plays video games, and his social life seems to consist of watching Survivor with his elderly neighbors. He works in the stockroom at an electronics store called SmartTech. When a friend drops out of a poker game, Andy's co-workers David (Paul Rudd), Cal (Seth Rogen), and Jay (Romany Malco) reluctantly invite Andy to join them. At the game (which he wins, due to playing online poker constantly), when conversation turns to past sexual exploits, Andy desperately makes up a story, but when he compares the feel of a woman's breast to a "bag of sand", he is forced to admit his virginity.
Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman) is a respected but perfectionist actor. Nobody in New York wants to hire him anymore because he is difficult to work with. According to his long-suffering agent George Fields (Sydney Pollack), Michael's attention to detail and difficult reputation led a commercial he worked on to run significantly over-schedule, because the idea of a tomato sitting down was "illogical" to him. After many months without a job, Michael hears of an opening on the soap opera Southwest General from his friend and acting student Sandy Lester (Teri Garr), who tries out for the role of a hospital administrator Emily Kimberly but does not get it. In desperation, and as a result of his agent telling him that "no one will hire you", he dresses as a woman, auditions as "Dorothy Michaels" and wins the part. Michael takes the job as a way to raise $8,000 to produce a play, written by his roommate Jeff Slater (Bill Murray) and to star Sandy, titled Return to Love Canal. Michael plays his character as a feisty, feminist administrator, which surprises the other actors and crew who expected Emily to be (as written) another swooning female in the plot. His character quickly becomes a television sensation.
The film begins in an illegal underground dog-fighting arena in Korea, where an FBI agent named John Maxwell (Paul Giamatti) has been identified. John is ordered to be killed by a Korean mob boss, but is eventually rescued by his undercover partner and master of disguise, Malcolm Turner (Martin Lawrence). Suddenly, a group of FBI agents storm around the arena. Meanwhile, a criminal named Lester Vesco (Terrence Howard), who was originally serving a life sentence in prison for murder and armed robbery, escapes from his cell by killing the doctor and stealing his car. The FBI assigns Malcolm and John to capture Lester by sending them to small-town Cartersville, Georgia to stake out the house of a fat, elderly African American woman named Hattie Mae Pierce (Ella Mitchell; whom her friends call "Big Momma"), the estranged Southern grandmother of Lester's ex-girlfriend, Sherry Pierce (Nia Long), who supposedly aided Lester in his original bank robbery by giving him the key to the vault. After Big Momma unexpectedly leaves town to help her ill friend within a couple of weeks, Malcolm and John sneak into her house to plant security cameras and tap the phones. Sherry later calls Big Momma's house and Malcolm disguises his voice as Big Momma in order to lure Sherry and possibly obtain a confession. The plan works, in which Malcolm and John work together on a Big Momma disguise costume before Sherry's arrival the next day.
In 1980, Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) and Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate) are married and are both co-anchors for a prestigious news network in New York City. One day, Mack Tannen (Harrison Ford), the most famous nightly news anchor in New York, reveals that he is retiring. He intends to promote Corningstone, making her the first female nightly news anchor in the history of television, and to fire Burgundy due to his continuously sloppy performance on air. Burgundy grows jealous of Corningstone's success and storms out of the house, leaving Corningstone and his six-year-old son Walter (Judah Nelson).
High school student Casey Becker receives a flirtatious phone call from an unknown person, asking her, "What's your favorite scary movie?" The situation quickly escalates as the caller turns sadistic and threatens her life. He reveals that her boyfriend Steve Orth is being held hostage. After Casey fails to answer a question correctly about horror films, Steve is murdered. When Casey refuses to cooperate with the caller, she is attacked and murdered by a masked killer. Her parents come home to find her body hanging from a tree.
While attending a preview of the film Stab, a film within a film based on the Woodsboro murders depicted in Scream, two Ohio Windsor College seniors, Maureen Evans and Phil Stevens are murdered by Ghostface. Phil is stabbed through the ear in a bathroom stall while trying to eavesdrop on strange whimpering noises. The killer, wearing a Ghostface costume, then returns to the screening and sits beside Maureen, before mortally stabbing her. At first the audience believe she is part of the raucuous acting out by audience members, until she falls dead in front of the cinema screen.