American Splendor (2003)

Share this quote on facebook I've had enough bad experiences and growth to last me plenty...Right now, I'd be glad to trade some growth for happiness.

Share this quote on facebook Man, she's got good looking handwriting.

Share this quote on facebook Look Toby, the guys in that movie are not 28 year-old file clerks who live with their grandmothers in an ethnic ghetto...They didn't get their computers like you did, by trading in a bunch of box tops and $49.50 at the supermarket...Sure, go to the movies and daydream, but Revenge of the Nerds ain't reality. It's just Hollywood bullshit.

Share this quote on facebook Yeah, I know I'm not as interesting as The Little Mermaid and all that magical crap.

Share this quote on facebook Why does everything in my life have to be such a complicated disaster?!

Share this quote on facebook Harvey, we better skip this whole courtship thing and just get married.

Share this quote on facebook I guess I have a lot of borderline health disorders that limit me politically when it comes to eating.

Share this quote on facebook I'll have you know that I come from a very dysfunctional family. I can spot personality disorders a mile away.

Share this quote on facebook [referring to David Letterman] Megalomaniac.

Share this quote on facebook I find most of American cities to be depressing in the same way.

Share this quote on facebook I recommend the piña coladas. They are excellent and very authentic tasting.

Share this quote on facebook [to Harvey] You know, you should try believing in something bigger than yourself. It might cheer you up.

Share this quote on facebook [regarding "Revenge of the Nerds"] Yes, I consider myself a nerd. And this movie has uplifted me.

Share this quote on facebook Hamburgers are a safer addiction than drugs. Say no to drugs. Say yes to White Castle.

Share this quote on facebook Young Harvey: I ain't no super hero, lady. I'm just a kid from the neighborhood, all right?

Share this quote on facebook Crumb: You turned yourself into a comic hero?

Share this quote on facebook Real Harvey: It seemed that real, salt of the earth people like Toby and me were being co-opted by these huge corporations. We were getting held up and ridiculed as losers in the system. What can I say, it was the '80s, man.

Share this quote on facebook Danielle: [to Harvey] Joyce is right. You are obsessive-compulsive.

Share this quote on facebook Mr. Boats: Avoid the reeking herd! Shun the polluted flock! Live like that stoic bird, the eagle of the rock!" You know what that means, son?
Harvey: Yeah. It's from an Elinor Hoyt Wylie poem. It means stay away from the crowds of common ordinary people and do your own thing.
Mr. Boats: Nope, it means don't compromise yourself for women. Ain't gonna do you no good. Get away from them as soon as you can!
Harvey: Well, I ain't got no woman now. So I'm living like the stoic bird, man.
Mr. Boats: The only way to live, son.

Share this quote on facebook Mattress Guy 1: So how smart is she?
Mattress Guy 2: I don't know. I guess she's about average.
Mattress Guy 1: Average? Hey, man. Average is dumb!

Share this quote on facebook Joyce: Hi, Harvey. We finally meet in person.
Harvey: Hiya. Look, before we get started with any of this, you might as well know right off the bat. I had a vasectomy.

Share this quote on facebook Joyce: Harvey, go get me water and a few aspirin.
Harvey: What, you got a headache?
Joyce: No, but I want to avoid one.

Share this quote on facebook Danielle Batone — Real Danielle

Share this quote on facebook Maggie Moore — Alice Quinn