Deconstructing Harry (1997)

Share this quote on facebook Floor five: Subway muggers, aggressive panhandlers, and book critics. Floor six: Right-wing extremists, serial killers, lawyers who appear on television. Floor seven: The media. Sorry, that floor is all filled up. Floor eight: Escaped war criminals, TV evangelists, and the NRA.

Share this quote on facebook Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'll take air conditioning.

Share this quote on facebook All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Share this quote on facebook The two most important things are the work you choose and sex.

Share this quote on facebook Does the president think of fucking every woman he meets? Ah, bad example.

Share this quote on facebook The most beautiful words in the English language are not "I love you" but "It's benign".

Share this quote on facebook I think you're the opposite of a paranoid. I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.

Share this quote on facebook Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing. Waitressing's gotta be the worst fucking job in the world.

Share this quote on facebook Lucy: You schmuck, you bastard! I'd like to cut your fuckin' head off!
Harry Block: You're upset, right?

Share this quote on facebook Harry Block: The ironic thing is that the school that kicked me out is honoring me soon.
Shrink: Why did they kick you out?
Harry Block: Because I wasn't interested in college. I wanted to be a writer and that's all I cared about. Also, I tried to give the Dean's wife an enema. They didn't take kindly to that.

Share this quote on facebook Doris: You have no values. With you it's all nihilism, cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
Harry Block: Hey, in France I could run for office with that slogan, and win!

Share this quote on facebook Doris: You're a self-hating Jew!
Harry Block: Hey, I may hate myself, but not because I'm Jewish.

Share this quote on facebook Burt: Do you care even about the Holocaust, or do you think it never happened?
Harry Block: Not only do I know that we lost 6 million, but the scary thing is that records are made to be broken.

Share this quote on facebook [Joan finds out that Harry is cheating on her with her patient]
Joan: Tell me, Harry, just tell me something. Was she the only one, or were there others?
Harry Block: No, Amy Pollock was the only one, may God strike me dead if I am lying.
Joan: You're an atheist, Harry!
Harry Block: Wha-hey, we're alone in the universe, you're going to blame that on me, too?

Share this quote on facebook Harry Block: Cookie, do you know what a black hole is?
Cookie: Sure, it's how I make my livin'!

Share this quote on facebook [Harry is in Hell]
Harry's Father: Harry!
Harry Block: Dad?
Harry's Father: Get me out of here! This is terrible! You know I could never stand hot weather.
Harry Block: [to demon leading his father in chains] What is he doing here?
Demon: He's condemned to eternal suffering.
Harry's father: Help me!
Harry Block: I don't understand. I demand to know the charges.
Demon: He behaved unconscionably toward his son. He accused the boy of committing a capital crime merely by being born.
Harry's Father: "Your wife," they told me, "is dead, but your son is thriving." Why did he fight not to be born?
Harry Block: Look, I forgive him. What's over is over. Let him go to Heaven, please!
Harry's Father: I'm a Jew. We don't believe in Heaven.
Harry Block: Where do you want to go?
Harry's Father: To a Chinese restaurant.
Harry Block: Take him to Joy Luck.

Share this quote on facebook The Devil: Want me to turn up the air conditioning?
Harry Block: What? You're air-conditioned here?
The Devil: Sure! Fucks up the ozone layer!

Share this quote on facebook The Devil: You ever fuck a blind girl?
Harry Block: No, that I never did.
The Devil: Ooh, they're so grateful.

Share this quote on facebook The Devil: You know, I've had a lot of jobs in your world.
Harry Block: Really? Like what?
The Devil: For two years I ran a Hollywood studio. But you can't trust those people.

Share this quote on facebook The Devil: You're not a fun guy. You're too angry at life.
Harry Block: Well, I've got a lot to be angry about!
The Devil: Who doesn't? But sooner or later you gotta back off. It's like Vegas. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down, but in the end the house always wins. Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.

Share this quote on facebook Harry Block wrote a bestseller about his best friends. Now, his best friends are about to become his worst enemies.

Share this quote on facebook Harry Block has written a best seller... about his best friends... he revealed their deepest secrets... and they're not pleased... now Harry Block is going to Hell...