Home Alone (1990)

Share this quote on facebook I took a shower, washing every body part with actual soap, including all my major crevices, including in between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult-formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine. I can't seem to find my toothbrush, so I'll pick one up when I go out today. Other than that, I'm in good shape. [applies aftershave; pretends to scream]

Share this quote on facebook This is my house! I have to defend it!

Share this quote on facebook Kevin: The third floor?
Kate: Go.
Kevin: It's scary up there.
Kate: Don't be silly. Fuller'll be up in a little while.
Kevin: I don't wanna sleep with Fuller. You know about him. He wets the bed. He'll pee all over me. I know it!
Kate: Fine. We'll put him somewhere else.

Share this quote on facebook Kevin: Everyone in this family hates me.
Kate: Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family.
Kevin: I don't want a new family. I don't want any family. Families suck!
Kate: Just stay up there. I don't wanna see you again for the rest of the night.
Kevin: I don't wanna see you again for the rest of my whole life. I don't wanna see anybody else, either.
Kate: I hope you don't mean that. You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't have a family.
Kevin: No, I wouldn't.
Kate: Then say it again. Maybe it'll happen.
Kevin: I hope that I never see any of you jerks again! [runs upstairs in a huff, and Kate closes the door]

Share this quote on facebook Kevin: I made my family disappear! [has a flashback to what his family told him the night before]
Megan: Kevin, you're completely helpless.
Linnie: You know, Kevin, you're what the French call les incompétents.
Buzz: Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula.
Jeff: Kevin, you are such a disease!
Kate: There are 15 people in this house, and you're the only one who has to make trouble.
Frank: Look what you did, you little jerk!
Kevin: [smiles] I made my family disappear.

Share this quote on facebook [the McCallisters hurriedly head out of the house for the vans to the airport]
Frank: There's no way on Earth we're gonna make this plane. It leaves in 45 minutes!
Peter: Think positive, Frank!
Frank: You be positive. I'll be realistic.

Share this quote on facebook Johnny: Who is it?
Snakes: It's me, Snakes. I got the stuff.
Johnny: Leave it on the doorstep, and get the hell outta here.
Snakes: All right, Johnny. But what about my money?
Johnny: What money?
Snakes: Acey said ya had some dough for me.
Johnny: Is that a fact? How much do I owe ya?
Snakes: Acey said 10%.
Johnny: Too bad Acey ain't in charge no more.
Snakes: Whattaya mean?
Johnny: He's upstairs, takin' a bath. He'll call you when he gets out. Hey! I tell ya what I'm gonna give you, Snakes. [pulls out his Tommy Gun] I'm gonna give you to the count of ten, to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full o' lead!
Snakes: [about to leave] All right, Johnny. I'm sorry. I'm goin'!
Johnny: 1... 2... 10! [opens fire at Snakes and laughs maniacally] Keep the change, ya filthy animal.

Share this quote on facebook A Family Comedy Without The Family.

Share this quote on facebook When Kevin's Family Left For Vacation, They Forgot One Minor Detail: Kevin. But Don't Worry... He Cooks. He Cleans. He Kicks Some Butt.

Share this quote on facebook This Non-Family Comedy is a Real Scream.