The Goodbye Girl (1977)

Share this quote on facebook I play the guitar whenever I cannot sleep, and I meditate every morning, complete with chanting and burning incense, so if you have to walk around I'd appreciate a little tiptoeing. Also: I sleep in the nude. "Au buffo." Winter and summer, rain or snow, with the windows open. And because I may have to go to the potty or to the fridge in the middle of the night, and because I do not want to put on jammies which I do not own in the first place, unless you're looking for a quick thrill or your daughter an advanced education I'd keep my door closed.

Share this quote on facebook I will bring home anyone or anything I chose including a one-eyed Episcopalian Kangaroo if that happens to be my kinky inclination.
after being told not to bring any female guests into the apartment

Share this quote on facebook after being told not to bring any female guests into the apartment

Share this quote on facebook If you were a Broadway musical, people would be humming your face.

Share this quote on facebook "It never occurred to us that William Shakespeare wrote the Wizard of Oz. However, Elliot Garfield makes a splendid Wicked Witch of the North." Tacky. Tacky. Well, if they're gonna kill me. Let 'em kill me with panache.
reading a review of his disastrous Richard III performance

Share this quote on facebook reading a review of his disastrous Richard III performance

Share this quote on facebook Miss McFadden, today I begin rehearsals for my first New York play. It will be the most important day of my life. Am I nervous? No, I am not nervous. For I have meditated. I am relaxed. I am calm. I am confident. You, on the other hand, have not meditated, and therefore you are a pain in the ass.

Share this quote on facebook My careereth is over. I am making a horseth asseth of myselfeth. Mark, I'm begging you. I'm BEGGING you. You want this kind of performance? Let me play Lady Anne.
during a rehearsal of Richard III in which his director has made him play the title character as a flamboyant homosexual

Share this quote on facebook during a rehearsal of Richard III in which his director has made him play the title character as a flamboyant homosexual

Share this quote on facebook What is it about you that makes a man with a hundred forty-seven I.Q. feel like a dribbling idiot?

Share this quote on facebook You know I liked you from the first time I met you when you answered the door. I said to myself, "This is the best half-a-face I ever saw!"

Share this quote on facebook You know I love listening to you talk. I hate living with you but your conversation is first rate.

Share this quote on facebook You're not the only one who can yell rape, you know.

Share this quote on facebook Elliot Garfield: I happen to have a lease in my pocket. Are you gonna honor it or what?
Paula McFadden: I have a daughter in my bedroom. That tops the lease in your pocket.

Share this quote on facebook Paula McFadden: I thought you said you were decent.
Elliot Garfield: I am decent. I also happen to be naked.

Share this quote on facebook Lucy McFadden: [upon awaking at dawn to Elliot's chanting] What's that?
Paula McFadden: Sounds like God.
Lucy McFadden: I smell strawberries burning.
Paula McFadden: That's incense.
Lucy McFadden: What's incense?
Paula McFadden: It is what I am feeling right now.

Share this quote on facebook Lucy McFadden: [after Elliot's play flops] Congratulations!
Elliot Garfield: For what?
Lucy McFadden: I didn't know what else to say.

Share this quote on facebook Elliot Garfield: [after hearing that his play has closed] That's okay. Now I'm free to take that other job.
Lucy McFadden: What other job?
Elliot Garfield: I'm looking, I'm looking!

Share this quote on facebook Thank you Neil Simon for making us laugh at falling in love…again.

Share this quote on facebook Michael Shawn - Ronnie