Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)

Share this quote on facebook We are gonna launch arcing ropes of jism all over this motherfucker! Peace!

Share this quote on facebook [repeated line] Let us fuck!

Share this quote on facebook I don't want to be with anyone but you, so I will wait forever for you, ok? I will wait the rest of my life, because I love you, and I have for as long as I can remember, and I would rather die than be without you, Miriam Linky.

Share this quote on facebook Miriam Linky: What happened to the water?
Zack Brown: I guess they musta shut it off...
Miriam Linky: Help me get this shit outta my hair! Just use the water outta the toilet!
Zack Brown: There's poo in there...
Miriam Linky: The back part of the toilet!

Share this quote on facebook Zack Brown: What's your name?
Lester: Lester... Lester the Molester Cockenschtuff.
Zack Brown: Wow. That's a great porn name.
Lester: I get to pick a porn name?... Then I want to be called... Pete Jones.

Share this quote on facebook Zack Brown: [suggesting porn titles] Fuckback Mountain!
Miriam Linky: [makes a face]
Zack Brown: Too soon?

Share this quote on facebook Zack Brown: Delaney, my friend, you are On-Ur-Knees Bend-Over.
Delaney: Man, I can't be in no porno. My wife will kill me.
Miriam Linky: Hump me, On-Ur-Knees Bend-Over. You're my only hump.
Delaney: On the other hand, fuck my wife.

Share this quote on facebook Zack Brown: I've known her since the first grade, you don't fuck someone you met in the first grade.
Delaney: Excuse me, I met my wife in kindergarten, we got married senior year, and she's been the queen of my world ever since.
Zack Brown: But what if you could do it all over again?
Delaney: I would jerk off and live by myself. That woman is the bane of my existence.

Share this quote on facebook Lester: Hey Stacey. You like dogs?
Stacey: Yeah. Especially pocket dogs.
Lester: Oh. I really liked porking you. It made my dick feel good.
Stacey: Me too. Except for the dick part because I don't have one but the good part.
Lester: Cool. Well, see ya.
Stacey: Bye.

Share this quote on facebook Zack Brown: Oh, you'll be sorry when I'm giving you the best orgasms of your life.
Miriam Linky: Yeah right. As if you even know what you're doing down there.
Zack Brown: Where's the clitoris again? Is it in your ass?

Share this quote on facebook Zack Brown: I'm gonna fuck you with my pecker!
Miriam Linky: Dude... that's really dirty.
Zack Brown: That's too dirty?
Miriam Linky: That offends me.
Zack Brown: Penis?
Miriam Linky: Fine.
Zack Brown: I'm gonna fuck you with my penis!

Share this quote on facebook Miriam Linky: So... I guess we should do this.
Zack Brown: I think we should probably wait, uh, just until I lose another 20-30 pounds.
Miriam Linky: Stop it. You look good.
Zack Brown: Thanks.
Miriam Linky: So... what about me? How do I look?
Zack Brown: I mean, you look beautiful - you always look... so beautiful, so I guess it's not a big deal. But you... you look amazing.
Miriam Linky: [grabbing his hand lovingly, then quickly beginning to swing it back and forth] Okay! Let's go make a porno!

Share this quote on facebook Lester: I even tried to talk her into givin' me the fuckin' Dutch Rudder . . . shot me down on that, too.
Zack Brown: And a Dutch Rudder is . . . ?
Lester: You don't know what a Dutch Rudder— All right, you grab your dick, and then you have somebody else work your arm. Here, lemme show you. Grab my arm— I'm grabbing my dick, you're grabbing my arm . . . Now work it. Work my arm. See that shit? Now work it up and down. See that? See, it's like somebody else is jerking you off. And of course, there's the Double Dutch Rudder . . . which, I grab my dick, you grab your dick, you work my arm, I work your arm. Same time! Same time. It's like jerkin' off together, but not gay. [Shakes head.] We're not touchin' dicks! Each other's dicks, anyway; I'm touchin' my own dick. You're workin' it, and I'm lovin' it. It feels good, sir . . . Try me! C'mon!

Share this quote on facebook Delaney: What? Han Solo ain't never had no sex with Princess Leia in the Star War!

Share this quote on facebook Brandon: [to Bobby] I will be patient with you. I will be there on your journey. I will be your Sherpa up the mountain...of gayness.

Share this quote on facebook Mr. Surya: I hate you ebony and ivory motherfuckers!

Share this quote on facebook Deacon: [after getting covered in Stacey's feces during an anal sex scene] Can you believe this shit!? That chick frosted me like I was a fucking cake!!

Share this quote on facebook Customer: Can I get a coffee, black?

Share this quote on facebook Delaney: Can't you see we talking, white?

Share this quote on facebook Zack Brown: Brandon here, is the star of such adult films as... What was that one called again?

Share this quote on facebook Brandon St. Randy: 'You Better Shut Your Mouth Or I'm Gonna Fuck It'

Share this quote on facebook Zack Brown: Oh, yeah... surprised I forgot that.