Galaxy Quest (1999)

Share this quote on facebook [on the ship's klaxon sounding] I remember that sound! That's a bad sound!

Share this quote on facebook [after going through the chompers] Whoever wrote this episode should die!

Share this quote on facebook [completely deadpan] By Grabthar's Hammer... what a savings.

Share this quote on facebook [to Jason, after fighting Gorinac] I see you managed to get your shirt off.

Share this quote on facebook By Grabthar's Hammer, by the Suns of Warvan, you shall be avenged.

Share this quote on facebook Gwen DeMarco: [watching the fans' reaction to Nesmith] You've got to admit, they really do love him.
Alexander Dane: Yeah, almost as much as he loves himself.

Share this quote on facebook Jason Nesmith: [Keeping Dane from running away] Come on, old friend!
Alexander Dane: Old friend?! You stole all my best lines, you cut me out of episode two entirely!

Share this quote on facebook Guy Fleegman: [manning the sensor station] Hey, guys, th–there's a red-uh thingy, moving toward the green thingy.
Jason Nesmith: What?
Guy Fleegman: [repeating] Red thingy, moving toward the green thingy. I think we're the green thingy.

Share this quote on facebook [Tommy is trying to steer the ship through a minefield]
Alexander Dane: Could you possibly try not to hit every single one?!
Tommy Webber: Sorry, man, they're drifting towards us! I think they're magnetic!

Share this quote on facebook Computer: Forward thruster shaft, 87% damage. Aft vector guards, 96% damage. Structural breaches in quadrants 32, 34, 40...
Jason Nesmith: What about the engines?
Computer: Forward thruster shaft, 87% damage.
Gwen DeMarco: Computer, what about the engines? Why don't we have power?
Computer: The beryllium sphere has fractured under stress.
Gwen DeMarco: It's fractured.
Jason Nesmith: Can it be repaired?
Gwen DeMarco: Computer, can it be repaired?
Computer: Damage to beryllium sphere: Irreparable. New source of beryllium must be secured.
Gwen DeMarco: We need another one.
Guy Fleegman: Uhh!
Alexander Dane: [to Jason] You broke the ship. You broke the bloody ship!
Jason Nesmith: Eh, uh-- [clears throat] Computer, is there, uh, a replacement Beryllium sphere on board?
Gwen DeMarco: Computer, is there a replacement Beryllium sphere on board?
Computer: Negative, no reserve Beryllium sphere exists on board.
Gwen DeMarco: [to crew] No, we have no extra Beryllium sphere on board.
Tommy Webber: You know, that is really getting annoying!
Gwen DeMarco: Look! I have one job on this lousy ship, it's stupid, but I'm gonna do it! Okay?
Tommy Webber: Sure, no problem.

Share this quote on facebook [The actors are flying a shuttle to an alien planet]
Guy Fleegman: [whimpering] I changed my mind, I wanna go back.
Alexander Dane: After all the fuss you made about getting left behind?
Guy Fleegman: Yeah, but that's when I thought I was the crewman that stays on the ship and something is up there and it kills me. But now I'm thinking I'm the guy that gets killed by some monster five minutes after we land on the planet.
Jason Nesmith: You're not going to die on the planet, Guy.
Guy Fleegman: I'm not? Then what's my last name?
Jason Nesmith: It's, uh, uh-- I don't know.
Guy Fleegman: Nobody knows. You know why? Because my character isn't important enough for a last name, because I'm gonna die five minutes in.
Gwen DeMarco: Guy, you have a last name.
Guy Fleegman: DO I??!! DO I??!! FOR ALL YOU KNOW, I'M "CREWMAN #6"! [puts his head on Gwen's shoulder and cries] Mommy! Mommy!
Alexander Dane: [wearily] Are we there yet?

Share this quote on facebook [The shuttle has landed and Fred is opening the hatch]
Guy Fleegman: Hey! Don't open that! It's an alien planet! Is there air?! You don't know!
Fred Kwan: [calmly sniffs the air and takes a few quick breaths] Seems okay.

Share this quote on facebook [The actors were watching the miners]
Alexander Dane: Could they be the miners?
Fred Kwan: Sure, they're like, three years old.
[The actors face Fred Kwan]
Alexander Dane: Miners. Not minors.
Fred Kwan: You lost me.

Share this quote on facebook [Jason is being menaced by a huge rock monster]
Alexander Dane: Fred's no good, Jason; you're just gonna have to kill it.
Jason Nesmith: "Kill it"? Well, I'm open to any suggestions!
Tommy Webber: Go for the eyes, like in Episode 22!
Jason Nesmith: It doesn't have any eyes, Tommy!
Tommy Webber: Well, then go for the throat or something, its vulnerable spots!
Jason Nesmith: It's a rock: It doesn't have any vulnerable spots!
Guy Fleegman: I know! You construct a weapon. Look around you. Can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?
Jason Nesmith: A LATHE?! GET OFF THE LINE, GUY!! Alexander, you're my adviser. Advise me!
Alexander Dane: Well, you're just gonna have to figure out what it wants. What is its motivation?
Jason Nesmith: It's a rock monster! It doesn't have a motivation!
Alexander Dane: You see, this was your problem, Jason. You were never serious about the craft!

Share this quote on facebook Fred Kwan: We gotta turn off that valve. Their oxygen's almost gone.
Guy Fleegman: Listen. I'll go in. I'll create a distraction. I got this, [brandishes an oversize alien gun] I'm okay. I might be able to hold them back long enough for the aliens to escape.
Fred Kwan: [concerned] That's suicide.
Guy Fleegman: I'm just a glorified extra, Fred, I'm a dead man anyway. If I gotta die, I'd rather go out a hero than a coward.
Fred Kwan: Guy. Guy, maybe you're the plucky comic relief, you ever think about that?
Guy Fleegman: Plucky?
Fred Kwan: Besides, [goofy laugh] I just had this really interesting idea. Yeah, let's go.
Guy Fleegman: Are you stoned?

Share this quote on facebook [Gwen and Jason encounter the chompers]
Gwen DeMarco: What is this thing? I mean, it serves no useful purpose for there to be a bunch of chompy, crushy things in the middle of a hallway!
Jason Nesmith: Gwen, Gwen!
Gwen DeMarco: No! I mean, we shouldn't have to do this! It makes no logical sense! Why is it here?
Jason Nesmith: Because it's on the television show!
Gwen DeMarco: Well, forget it! I'm not doing it! This episode was badly written!

Share this quote on facebook Tommy Webber: Whoo!
Guy Fleegman: We're getting hammered, Jason! Return fire?
Jason Nesmith: No! Divert all energy to the armor!
Sarris: How adorable. The actors are going to play war with me.
Gwen DeMarco: Sarris' ship accelerating toward us at Mark 2.
Jason Nesmith: Accelerate to Mark 4!

Share this quote on facebook Sarris: Let me remind you, sonny: I am a general. If you are counting on me to blink, then you are making a deadly mistake.
Jason Nesmith: Well, let me tell you something, Sarris! It doesn't take a great actor to recognize a bad one. You're sweating!
Gwen DeMarco: Armor almost gone, Jason!
Sarris: You fool! You fail to realize that with your armor gone, my ship will tear through yours like tissue paper!
Jason Nesmith: And what you fail to realize is my ship is dragging mines!
[The Protector is shown to have mines trailing it towards Sarris' ship]
Sarris: OH, NO! TURN! TURN!
[Sarris quickly does something on a console as the mines slam into his ship and destroy it. The actors cheer]

Share this quote on facebook Brandon's Mom: Where are you going with those fireworks?
Brandon Wheegan: Well, the Protector got super-accelerated coming out of the black hole and just, like, nailed the atmosphere at Mach 15, which you guys know is pretty unstable, obviously, so we're gonna help Laredo guide it on the vox ultra-frequency carrier and use Roman candles for visual confirmation.
Brandon's Mom: Uh, all right. Dinner's at 7:00.
[Brandon leaves and his mother turns to his father, who seems distracted after Brandon's odd statement]
Brandon's Mom: Well, at least he's outside.

Share this quote on facebook [last lines]
Voiceover: And now, back again after 18 years, The New Adventures of Galaxy Quest.

Share this quote on facebook Never give up, never surrender!

Share this quote on facebook The show has been cancelled... but the adventure is just beginning.

Share this quote on facebook A comedy of galactic proportions.

Share this quote on facebook By Grabthar's Hammer, by the Suns of Warvan, you shall be avenged.

Share this quote on facebook All systems are functioning Commander.

Share this quote on facebook Pedal to the metal, Commander.

Share this quote on facebook Are we there yet?