Jackass 3D (2010)

Share this quote on facebook Johnny Knoxville: [dressed as Santa Claus] Santa did have a few drinks last night, so this ain't going to feel too good.

Share this quote on facebook Johnny Knoxville: [seeing a bull stomping its feet] Oh, I hate it when they do that.

Share this quote on facebook Johnny Knoxville: Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass!

Share this quote on facebook Bam Margera: Is Knoxville going to catch the ball?
Ryan Dunn: Who gives a shit?

Share this quote on facebook Jeff Tremaine: Jared, what's your job?
Jared Allen: MURDER KNOXVILLE'S FACE.
Jeff Tremaine: And Johnny, what's your job?
Johnny Knoxville:...Catch the ball?

Share this quote on facebook Johnny Knoxville: [Steve-O just puked after biting an apple that was in Preston's buttocks] You don't like apple and peanut butter?

Share this quote on facebook Johnny Knoxville: [Preparing the Poo-Cocktail Supreme] I think it was 10 years ago today I did the first Poo Cocktail. Now you're taking the reins and taking it to a whole 'nother level.
Steve-O: [unexcitedly] Yep.
Johnny Knoxville: You look pretty happy about it.
Steve-O: You guys better let me out, because I'm going to be so claustrophobic.
Johnny Knoxville: What, you have claustrophobia?
Chris Pontius: Just relax, and enjoy your shit.

Share this quote on facebook Preston Lacy: Hi, I'm Preston Lacy. And this is the Apple of my Ass.

Share this quote on facebook Rake Yohn: [as Ryan Dunn is about to super glue his ass to Phil Margera's back] Dunn, do you shave your ass?
Ryan Dunn: "Do I shave my ass?", look at me! I don't know what a razor feels like.
Johnny Knoxville: Well apparently, you don't know what toilet paper feels like either.
Dunn: I don't!

Share this quote on facebook Steve-O: See, Dave doesn't understand. The more you freak out, the more you get stung. Idiot.

Share this quote on facebook Steve-O: [about to get hit between the legs, in a strained voice] I'm Steve-O, and

Share this quote on facebook Steve-O: Oh, fuck!. Why do I have to be Steve-O?

Share this quote on facebook Bam Margera: Where's Phil?
Phil Margera: I had to take a mean shit.
Bam Margera: There's a gorilla.
Phil Margera: I know, I had to take a mean shit, it was coming out. Hear it? It's all juicy. I had to do it.
Bam Margera: Phil, you are mingin'.
Phil Margera: I know, I had to.

Share this quote on facebook Jason "Wee Man" Acuña: How's Santa doing?
Johnny Knoxville: [climbing a tree] Santa's fucking tired.

Share this quote on facebook Johnny Knoxville: [after Wee-Man is hit in the groin by a random apple thrown at him by Jeff Tremaine] See, I told you it's not that hard to get into film!

Share this quote on facebook Johnny Knoxville: [As Bam pees in front of a jet engine blowing in his face] That's the story of Jackass, right there. Just pissing in the wind!

Share this quote on facebook Jason "Wee Man" Acuña: No fucking way, dude!
Ryan Dunn: Hey, is there blue on me?
Johnny Knoxville: Oh my god...I am so happy.
Ryan Dunn: Dude, that thing goes!

Share this quote on facebook Bam Margera: [After he runs through an obstacle course full of tasers and cattle prods] I change my mind. Stun guns are now the number one thing I hate the most. Bulls are second, snakes are third. That sucked!

Share this quote on facebook Danger Ehren: [After getting his tooth pulled out by a Lamborghini] Oh, I wish I could say that didn't suck!

Share this quote on facebook Bam Margera: Get in the Lambo, shitbird!

Share this quote on facebook Johnny Knoxville: [Dressed as a mild-mannered, senior-citizen, with professional face make-up, accompanied by an elderly lady, and a willing, attractive, younger looking adult female in support] Hello, I'm Irving Zistman, this is my wife, and grandaughter, and today, I'm a really bad grandpa!

Share this quote on facebook Bam Margera: This is Barrel Surfing.
Steve-O: I think Barrel Surfing's for macho jerks with a death wish.
Chris Pontius: No, it's not. It's the ultimate thrill, the ultimate rush. Even more than sex.
Steve-O: Well, that depends on who you're doing it with.

Share this quote on facebook Chris Pontius: This is the kind of extreme shit most extreme dudes don't even think about.

Share this quote on facebook Chris Pontius: That had everything. It had shit, it had danger, it had puke. That's what this show's all about...and sex appeal.