The Mask (1994)

Share this quote on facebook Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssmokin!

Share this quote on facebook It's party time! P-A-R-T-whY? Because I gotta!

Share this quote on facebook Look, Ma, I'm roadkill! Ha ha ha!
After being flattened onto the road

Share this quote on facebook After being flattened onto the road

Share this quote on facebook [acting as a balloon salesman to a group of thugs] Step right up here! Don't be shy! Nobody likes a bashful leather head! [Pause] MOVE IT! [the thugs approach him] For my first trick...I'll do something for you, son. [makes a giraffe-shaped balloon] We have a giraffe. [Offers it to a thug] There you go, son. Now get out of here. You bother me. Now...[pulls out what appears to be a used condom] Sorry, wrong pocket. For you, son. Little body English. [makes a poodle-shaped balloon] A French poodle. [Rips it apart before the thug can take it] Sorry, son. The dog was rabid. Had to put her down. And, last but not least, my favorite. [makes a gun-shaped balloon, which transforms into a rather rubbery submachine gun. He aims it at the thugs] A Tommy gun!! [as the thugs run away. the Mask shoots at them while laughing manically]

Share this quote on facebook Hold on, sugar! Daddy's got a sweet tooth tonight!

Share this quote on facebook Sssomebody stop me!

Share this quote on facebook Uh-oh...can't make the scene if you don't have the green; I better make a little stop.

Share this quote on facebook [After robbing the bank, to Dorian's henchmen] Sorry, fellas. Waste not, want not.

Share this quote on facebook Did you miss me? I GUESS NOT!

Share this quote on facebook THAT'S A SPICY MEATBALL!!!
In an Italian accent, using a line from an Alka-Seltzer advertisement, after swallowing a bomb, then belching out the explosion

Share this quote on facebook In an Italian accent, using a line from an Alka-Seltzer advertisement, after swallowing a bomb, then belching out the explosion

Share this quote on facebook This guy's incorrigible.

Share this quote on facebook Ice this dead meat!

Share this quote on facebook 50 grand. 50 grand to the man who finds that green-faced son of a bitch before the cops do. I want you to get the word out to every street hustler, to every lowlife in this town. I want him in here tomorrow, alive. You still here? Come on, let's go!

Share this quote on facebook I'm just an ex-employee, who's come for his back pay. Or should I say, PAYBACK!

Share this quote on facebook Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be your host for the remainder of the evening.

Share this quote on facebook Do you know how hard it is to find a decent man in this town ? Most of them think monogamy is some kind of wood !

Share this quote on facebook I'm sorry, Stanley. You really are a nice guy, I just can't afford to lose my condo. You know how hard it is to find an apartment in this place.

Share this quote on facebook [sees Tina enter; to Stanley] Hold the phone. Killer at ten o'clock.

Share this quote on facebook Officers, arrest those men! ...I always wanted to say that.

Share this quote on facebook Bobby: Uh, are you on the list?
The Mask: Nooooo. But I believe my friends are. Perhaps you know them. [He takes fistfuls of high denomination cash out of his pocket] Franklin, Grant, and... Jackson?

Share this quote on facebook Dorian Tyrell: SON OF A BITCH!![throws the cigarette lighter over the glass window; to Eddie] Eddie, who did this, man?! WHO!!?
Eddie: [pointing to The Mask] Him! Him! Look ,that's — that's the guy!
Dorian Tyrell: That guy dancin' with Tina? He's dead meat. Come on!

Share this quote on facebook Kellaway: Freeze! [The Mask literally freezes] Put your hands up!
The Mask: [with teeth clenched] But you told me to freeze!
Kellaway: All right, all right, un-freeze. [The Mask defrosts and falls to the ground] You're under arrest.
The Mask: [Desperate voice] No! It wasn't me! It was the one-armed man! [gets up, in normal voice] All right, I confess! I did it, ya hear? And I'm glad, glad I tell ya! [begs on the ground] What are they gonna do to me, Sarge? What are they gonna do?!
Kellaway: [slaps handcuffs on The Mask] Sorry, son, that's not my department. Search him! [The Mask is pulled up and his [endless] pockets are searched]
The Mask: Ow! Where's a camcorder when ya need one? [snorty laugh]

Share this quote on facebook [Dorian has just donned the Mask]
Dorian Tyrell: What a rush!
Eddie: Whoa, boss! You OK?
Dorian Tyrell: Better than ever, you idiot.
Eddie: What do we do with Ipkiss?
Dorian Tyrell: The police are looking for The Mask. So we'll give them The Mask. (He laughs evily)

Share this quote on facebook Bobby: [delivering Stanley] Hey, boss. Look who I found.
Stanley: Hey, Dorian. How's it going?
Dorian Tyrell: Bring him up here!
Tina: Dorian, wait. No!
Dorian: Ugh, there's no time for last request.
Tina: But all I wanted was a kiss.
Dorian: A kiss?
Tina: Just one last kiss?
Eddie: Boss, I can't shut this thing off.
Dorian Tyrell: There is always time for one last kiss!
[Prepares to kiss Tina demonically]
Tina: No. I want it to be with the real Dorian. The one I used to love. No one's ever kissed me like Dorian Tyrell.
Eddie: [shouting] Romeo, this whole place is gonna blow any minute!
Dorian Tyrell: [yells; eyes glow red] JUST WAIT!...I've decided...[Dorian removes mask and reverts to his human self] to give her what she wants.
[Dorian and Tina kiss passionately. Tina takes advantage of distraction to kick mask towards Stanley]

Share this quote on facebook [Kellaway and Doyle attempt a 2nd arrest on Stanley; bumps into Mayor Tilton]
Kellaway: Watch it, chunky! [Realizes] Mayor Tilton, I'm so....
Mayor Tilton: What the hell's going on, Kellaway?
Kellaway: That guy is the Mask.
Mayor Tilton: No, Dorian Tyrell was the Mask. I saw it with my own eyes. This young man just saved our lives.
Charlie: With a little help from his friends.

Share this quote on facebook Mr. Dickey: Ipkiss, we have a crisis on our hands here and you stroll in over an hour late? If I have to put up with your slovenly behavior...
Stanley: BACK OFF, Monkey Boy, before I tell your daddy you're running this place like it's your own personal piggy bank. Or maybe we should call the IRS, and see if we can arrange a little vacation for you at Club FED!!!!!!!!!
Mr. Dickey:[shocked from being told off by his employee] That'll be all, Ipkiss.

Share this quote on facebook From zero to hero.

Share this quote on facebook Splendiiiiide!

Share this quote on facebook Ivory Ocean as Mitchell Tilton

Share this quote on facebook William Daniel Mielcarek as Doc

Share this quote on facebook Nancy Fish as Mrs. Peenman