What Happens in Vegas (2008)

Share this quote on facebook We got robbed...the only thing they took was the door.. (shrugs shoulders)

Share this quote on facebook Yeah that's a little bit of me...and some other people. (Response when Joy says his bed stinks)

Share this quote on facebook Oh yeah this is happening (said while peeing in the kitchen sink) oh, and by the way, it's your day on dishes

Share this quote on facebook (To Joy when she sees the bathroom) Don't throw all of that hair away. I'm saving it up to make you something special... like a hat... or a sweater.

Share this quote on facebook I'd rather do nothing and be happy than do something I know I don't love.

Share this quote on facebook (To Joy before she leaves for work) Don't get hit by a bus. (Door closes) Or do. Whatever.

Share this quote on facebook (To Doctor Twitchell at councilling) Her candles smell awesome!

Share this quote on facebook (Morning after the drunk wedding) What's mine is yours! Me coffee su coffee, haha...

Share this quote on facebook What happened to "what's mine is yours baby.." we're married now...remember?

Share this quote on facebook To anyone who has ever been dumped and to anyone who has ever been fired...when I say screw you say you...

Share this quote on facebook I'm not usually this much fun!

Share this quote on facebook I can totally do this! (Gasps after seeing the bathroom) I can't do this.

Share this quote on facebook And where's that, Jack? The starting line? Cause I got news for you buddy, the gun already went off!

Share this quote on facebook You took yourself out of the game.

Share this quote on facebook They ring the door bell and when he answers they JUNK-punch him right up in his man-business, and while he lying there on the floor writhing in pain asking "Why?", they answer. "YOU know why.." (nods smiling at her plan)

Share this quote on facebook Like seriously, I like threw up in my own purse.

Share this quote on facebook Your friend wouldn't know a good time if it sat on his face

Share this quote on facebook You I don't like and your friend, I want to cut him

Share this quote on facebook Do you even know how to drive an automatic?

Share this quote on facebook Now that you aren't married anymore...can I get her number...(pause)..ok maybe later

Share this quote on facebook They should make a law about what a bad lawyer I am...then again I wouldn't know about it

Share this quote on facebook She is a wily temptress...and what do wily temptress do? They tempt you, in a wily temptress way...and then play you.

Share this quote on facebook Lavender. Get on my head!

Share this quote on facebook Uh...I, I don't have my glasses...

Share this quote on facebook Look! Stripper, you are kind of a disgusting skank. (To tipper)

Share this quote on facebook Did you just make a plan to make a plan?

Share this quote on facebook Jack: So why are you here
Joy: Oh you know just living it up...being crazy. What about you?
Jack: Oh I'm here on business...I'm very important in my field...
Joy: Really?
Jack: No..I just got fired.
Joy: I just got dumped.
Jack: Did I mention I got fired by my father?
Joy: Did I mention that I threw my fiance a surprise birthday party and the surprise was he dumped me in front of all our closest friends while they hid in the closets?
Jack: You win.

Share this quote on facebook Joy: (After finding out that they were booked in the same room with Jack and Hater) OK, so we both know how this is going to work. I am going to complain, and you are going to tell me there's nothing you can do about it, when we both know that is a big fat lie. So why don't you go ahead and type in those special codes that you know you are going to type in eventually, and give me two rooms that are so... nice... that it will turn my night right back around. (Smiles)
Hotel Clerk: OK...I'm going to do just what you said because honestly...I'm a little frightened of you.

Share this quote on facebook Jack: Jack Fuller. (Introducing himself to Joy's boss)
Richard: Richard Banger.
Jack: Richard Banger?...Dick Banger? You my friend have just supplied us with jokes for the whole weekend...(slight pause)
Richard: Well you must be Jack ...Off...ha ha give it to me baby!!

Share this quote on facebook Dr. Twitchell: Jack what happened to you? (asked after seeing Jack's black eye)
Jack: I fell...and hit my head on the door knob
Dr. Twitchell: You fell?
Jack: Yeah...I fall a lot these days...I'm so clumsy.
Dr. Twitchell: Are you sure no one did this to you?
Jack: I (glances at Joy) I'm suppose to line the hand towels up just so..and I didn't and I'm sorry. And I forgot to put the toilet seat down, and she said "Put it down or I'm going to put you down!!" And... (Joy pulls out cell phone and shows a video of Bear and Hater beating up Jack)
Dr. Twitchell: Can we get back to therapy now?
Jack: Yes...yes we can..

Share this quote on facebook Jack: What's the one place where you can step up and be a man?
Hater: Community College?

Share this quote on facebook Get Lucky.

Share this quote on facebook It's a battle of the sexes and they're playing dirty.